The worst part was that he made sense for her. Any man that had good intentions for her did.
Over the last few weeks, I had been trying to learn how to be a father. I had been present for Ava. But the more present I became, the more my feelings for Ava grew into something harder to ignore. She was beautiful, independent, and she was carrying my child. That made her angelic in my eyes.
Another man could step into spaces I was still fumbling and give her everything she wanted. Kam could probably wife her without needing a fucking pep talk first. That thought made my stomach turn every time it came across my mind.
I leaned back in the seat and shut my eyes for a second.
I had spent my whole life feeling claustrophobic at the thought of being tied down. Marriage sounded like a room with no windows. Commitment sounded like one more way to fail somebody. Family sounded good when it was somebody else’s,but every time I imagined it attached to me, something in me started fighting like I was being buried alive.
And yet Ava and this baby kept pulling me toward exactly that.
My phone vibrated.
I looked down expecting it to be Malik again. But it was Ava.
The second I opened the text, everything in me went cold:I’m on the way to the ER. I fell earlier, and I’m bleeding now. I’m going to U of C.
For a second, I couldn’t move.
Then I started the truck and the tires screeched when I pulled off the curb. I ran every red light. The whole ride, all I could think about was losing the baby, Ava being scared and hurting, and the grief of those possibilities was crushing. I didn’t want to lose my son. I didn’t want Ava to have to carry that kind of sadness either.
By the time I got to the ER, I jumped out, hit the entrance, and went straight to the reception desk.
“I’m here to see Ava Reynolds.”
The woman behind the desk looked up, offended by my panicked approach. She started typing and after seconds that felt like hours told me, “They took her straight to the back.”
The second she told me the room number, I was gone. I pushed through the double doors and kept rushing down the hall until I found the room. Then I stepped inside and saw Ava on the bed and Kam sitting in the chair beside her.
That stopped me dead in my tracks. I looked at him and barked, “Get out.”
Ava recoiled in embarrassment. “Reek, don’t be rude.”
Kam stood up anyway, but he was calm. “It’s cool,” he told her. “I don’t need to be here, now that he is here. You good?”
I had to gnaw on my bottom lip to keep from turning this ER into a fucking morgue. “Nigga…If she not, she don’t need you to fix it.”
Ava cringed while telling him, “Thank you for bringing me.”
“Of course.” Then he walked out, ignoring my presence.
I walked closer to the bed as he cleared the doorway. Ava’s eyes were wet. She had one hand protectively over her stomach.
I wanted to ask her what her feelings were for that nigga, why he was even there, but this wasn’t the time and that wasn’t what was important right now. So, instead, I asked, “What’s going on? Have they given you an exam yet?”
Ava looked pissed at me, but her fear was overruling her anger. “They’re sending someone in to do an ultrasound.”
Just then, Dr. Harrison came in with the ultrasound machine.
Ava was surprised to see her. “Dr. Harrison?”
“Hey,” she smiled at Ava. “I got notified that you were down here because of a fall. I have a little break in my schedule, so I came to check on you myself.”
That seemed to give Ava some relief.
Dr. Harrison rolled the machine over, explained what she was there to do, and squirted gel on Ava’s stomach. I walked to the side of the bed, close enough that if Ava reached for me, I would be right there.
I held my breath without realizing it, staring at the screen while Dr. Harrison moved the wand. As we waited, it hit me how my feelings had changed. I would never have thought that I would be sitting here, praying that this child was okay, and fearing the moment if it wasn’t. Once I felt that kick, I was attached to it and instantly wanted to protect it with everything I had.
