"Give me a little bit to figure out about her." Shifting from one foot to the other, I try to read Penny's expression. "I know it isn't much, but it's safe."
I need her to know that. More than anything, I need her to feel like she can breathe here. Like the world outside those doors doesn't exist, and if it tries to get in, it'll have to go through me first.
She nods in agreement before tearing her eyes from Leliah, whose attention is on my bottle of bodywash. Reaching out for my hand, she squeezes my fingers. Touching me first, it’s hard not to get worked up. "You're doing so much for us. I'll never be able to fully express my gratitude to you, Ace. If it weren't for you, we'd be sleeping on the streets."
Her fingers are so much smaller than mine. The squeeze she gives me shouldn't feel like a grenade going off in my chest, but it does. I'd burn the world down for this woman, and she's thanking me for a hot shower.
She has no idea.
I don't miss the way her eyes glisten at the thought, or how badly it claws at me to swipe away any of her tears before they get the chance to fall.
I want to cradle her face so badly that it hurts to deny myself the act. The need not to startle her is much stronger than my greed.
"Let me know if you need anything else. Now, take as long as you need and let me figure out some stuff." Giving her a grin, I pull myself back before I do something stupid like wrapping my arms around her so she can realize how strong I really am, strong enough to shoulder any of her problems.
God, have I always been a lovesick fool? I need to chill the hell out.
Leaving her, I text Smoke about the clothing dilemma and beg him to grab me something. He lives next to me, anyway, so it's not like it's entirely out of his way. I pump my fist in a mini celebration when he shoots me a thumbs-up emoji in return.
I spend the next twenty minutes cleaning my home like my life depends on it. Inappropriate posters? In the trash. Clothes are in the wash, left waiting for theirs before I start it, and the bedroom is in a living state, with no sign of my previous activities. Hell, I'm panting by the time I've got the sheets changed.
I can't remember the last time I changed these sheets. Can't remember when I bought the can of freshener I spray around, either, but I'm thankful I bought it to begin with.
For her. I did all of this for her, and I'd do it a hundred times over if it meant she'd sleep soundly for one night.
Hearing my front door open and Smoke announce his arrival, he soon finds me digging around my closet. He gives me an arched brow when stopping at my door before the smell of fresh linen makes his nose wrinkle.
He doesn't get it. I don't either, but I think I'm starting to.
There's before Penny and after Penny. Before, I didn't care about the state of my surroundings. After? I want her to wake up and think someone gives a shit about her. Even if that someone is me.
"I think I'm in love." Hitting him with the hard truth, I don't miss the way he grimaces as I pass by him. He's my shadow, following close behind as I reach the door to the shower.
He should be happy for me. Instead, he looks like I just told him I'm joining a cult.
Taking the bag from his hand, I add it to the shirt I had chosen earlier, hang everything on the knob, and then knock on the door to inform her.
"Clothes are outside the door. Take your time." I keep my voice low and soft before I hear a quiet thank you that nearly buckles my knees.
Moving on, I feel Smoke's eyes on my neck as we reach my next task. The dishes. I'm going to need them cleaned so Ihave something to use for breakfast tomorrow. Do I even have anything to cook for breakfast?
Finally, my brother makes a sound of disbelief. "What did you do with Ace?"
My mouth curves, and I can't help the laugh that leaves me. I feel good. I feel alive.
"Say whatever you want, but I'm serious, man." Giving him my back, I can't contain this thing clawing at my chest. "I'm going to marry that woman one day."
Okay, I do sound really crazy now.
He chokes on the air at my claim before a soft curse leaves his lips. "She's got those assholes on her tail. You really want to shoulder that? What about the kid's father?"
There it is. The reality check I've been trying not to think about, so I could keep smiling around Penny without scaring her. But the reminding voice has been there, despite being quiet enough to shut out.
"I want to shoulder it." I set down the plate I'm scrubbing and turn to face him fully. "I want to be the reason she stops looking over her shoulder." My voice drops as if I’m keeping a secret. "I want those bastards to know that touching her means answering to me."
He’s still looking at me like I’ve grown a second head, and I get it. I do. I’ve never been the settling-down kind of guy. While I know he has been secretly thinking about it, I’ve always run from the thought of commitment. Now here I am trying to chase after it. Down to the point of happily being willing to spill blood over it.
"If any of those guys come on our territory looking for her, I'll happily put a bullet between their eyes. Simple as that. And regarding that guy..." My smile falls away, replaced with a frown. "I'm planning on talking to Hex. I'll find and kill him after whathe's put her through. Both of them. That, or hand him over so they can write off this debt and send him to his death that way."
