"You're hurt." Pointing out the obvious, I groan when I feel her fingers against my ribs. It's not the bruise that aches, but the gentleness of her touch. "You shouldn't have done that."
She's touching me as if I matter. Like these bruises mean something because they're on me.
"And miss the chance for that?" I nod toward Leliah as she giggles softly. "No way. Penny, I'd do it again."
In a heartbeat. Maybe with more backup, though. But I'd still go without an ounce of hesitation.
"Thank you." Her next words hit me hard. "I'll never be able to pay you back, you know that, don't you?"
She doesn't get it. She doesn't understand that she's already given me more than she'll ever know.
The next groan that leaves me reaches even deeper in my chest. Stepping forward, there's no space left between us before I sigh into her hair. "Can't you believe that I don't want anything back? Money barely means anything to me. Having you right here, touching me like this? This is all I want."
Why is that so hard for her to believe?
If I outright told her how badly I need her here, how much I want her to abandon her past and start something new here with me, I'd risk making her feel obligated to stay. She has to choose it because she wants to.
Not because she's grateful. Not because she's scared. Because she wants me.
"How long until that changes?" Her question surprises me, even more than when she runs her palm up my chest. "What happens when you get bored or find something better?"
Bored? Of her? Is she insane?
Grabbing her hand, I slide it right over where my heart is beating in my chest. Keeping it there, we both feel it crashing around.
"Ever since I saw you in the casino, my heart hasn't stopped beating like this. There's only one thing that'll stop my heart beating this way, and that won't be something happening any time soon. So, in short, as long as I'm breathing, it's only you, Penny."
There's no one else. There won't ever be anyone else.
Watching her bite her lip as she stares at our hands, she makes it impossible to know what she's thinking. Still, the way her cheeks start to return to a pink shade has to be a pretty good sign, right?
She's considering it. Considering me. That's enough for now.
What sucks is that I'm going to have to ruin my confession by getting back to the matters at hand. Especially when she's looking so kissable right about now.
I don't want to do this. I want to stay in this moment forever. But she deserves the truth. She deserves a choice.
Taking a step back with strength I don't realize I have, we separate enough that if what I say next upsets her, then she can leave. Away from me, and out of this place if she really wants to.
I'm a bastard for bringing her stuff here in hopes it'll help her want to be here, even more for wishing something like this could help her look past what scares her the most. Club business.
But I'm not a good man. I've never pretended to be. The least I can do is be honest about that.
"We need to talk about Johnny." Speaking his name leaves a sour taste in my mouth, and it takes strength not to curse. "I need to know what we're going to do about him."
She inhales shakily at the seriousness behind my words before looking away. "I don't know where he's at. Nobody does. He could be... dead for all I know."
She says it like she's testing the idea. Like she's trying to figure out what it would feel like.
How does that make her feel, the concept of him being dead? Relieved? Sad? Guilty? I can't tell. Her face is a locked door.
"We'll track him down whether he's breathing or not. We will find him, that's a guarantee. Now, what I need to know is what you want to do once we do. Turning him over will be the best way to get all this over with. Or..." My fingers curl and uncurl before I shove them through my hair. "You can go back to him and figure this out yourself."
The last option nearly chokes me. But I have to offer it. I have to let her choose.
Seeing those photos in her home wasn't the worst part. It was seeing Penny's smiling face in them that tore something deep within me. If she could be happier with him... then I'd have to let her go.
Even if it crushes my poor heart into pieces. After what I’ve done in life, that would just be karma’s way of getting back at me.
