He’d made it through Diane’s loss by believing God had a plan for his life. In the midst of his darkness and pain, he’d held on to that hope and made it out the other side. Mostly anyway.
God was still in control, of that Reid was certain. And he was equally certain that God wanted him to help Megan and Ella. But what if something happened to them? Could Reid go through another loss and survive?
Did it matter how he felt? Megan had stepped away from her faith. If something happened to Ella, Megan could sink into a depression too deep to recover from. Reid had to be there for her just as God was urging him to do right now.
Forgive me for doubting You. I still don’t want to do this, but I know You’ll give me the strength to help them.
The bedroom door latched closed, and he turned. Megan, hand on the knob and forehead pressed against the door, started crying softly. Her shoulders convulsed, and her sobs grew louder.
Reid went to her.
“Don’t, Megan,” he whispered and placed his hand on her back, rubbing in small circles. “I know that was terrifying, but Ella’s okay.”
She slowly turned. “For now. But like you said, he’ll come back. Or what if she gets sicker again?” She stared at her feet. “I’m so afraid of losing her. I don’t know how much longer I can deal with this by myself.”
He placed his finger under her chin and lifted her head. “You’re not alone. I’m here, and I’m not going anywhere.”
A flicker of trust appeared in her eyes. Fear of disappointing her twisted his gut. Only moments ago, he’d wanted to run from her and Ella for his own peace of mind.
How could he now look her in the eye and promise to be here when she needed him?
“Thank you.” Her expression softened. She was so vulnerable. He wanted to draw her close, hold her, and never let go, but that was wrong on so many levels.
He let his gaze tangle with hers. His heart opened. Fully. For the first time in years. He should put some distance between them. Now. Go downstairs. Go anywhere other than here.
He couldn’t. He gave in and pulled her into his arms. She moved closer and rested her head on his chest, circling her arms around his waist. He stroked her hair and inhaled the fruity fragrance of her shampoo. Holding her felt so good to him. Better than he’d ever imagined when they’d worked on Fowler’s case. It was as if after a long absence, he’d come home.
“Reid?” Jack’s questioning voice preceded his footfalls up the stairs, and still, Reid didn’t want to end contact with Megan.
But she must’ve heard him approaching and pushed away. “I need to get a tissue.” She rushed down the hallway toward the bathroom.
Reid hissed out a breath and turned to face Jack.
“What’re you doing?” Jack asked as he planted his feet in a wide stance.
Reid didn’t like the accusatory tone. “She was upset. You would’ve done the same thing.”
“No, I wouldn’t, and you know it.”
“You would see a crying mother and not offer comfort?”
“Of course I would comfort her, but there was more to this. Your face said it all. You’ve helped plenty of grieving mothers over the years, but I’ve never seen this kind of reaction from you.”
Reid was getting irritated at Jack’s interference. “I’m not an agent, and this isn’t my job. So it really doesn’t matter what happened, now does it?”
“It does if it gets in the way of protecting Megan and Ella.”
“Just do your job, Jack. I won’t get in your way.” Reid charged down the stairs, hoping he could follow through on this promise to his friend and truly not get in the way. But if another threat like this happened to either Megan or Ella, he would risk everything, including his own life, to protect them.
Megan finished washing her face and eyed herself in the mirror. She didn’t know she could look so terrified. But she was. Still. With every setback in Ella’s health, and Orrin walking out on them, Megan was sure she’d reached the end of her resolve, but she’d rebounded every time.
Tonight was different. Seeing that red dot trained on her baby’s forehead churned up all of Megan’s fears of losing her child and they didn’t recede. Not one bit.
Megan stared hard at herself. Searched for the strength to go on—to walk out the bathroom door and be brave for Ella. She lifted her still-trembling hands.
She couldn’t do this anymore. Not on her own. Like she’d told Reid. She needed someone to help her through it. God? Maybe. Reid? Another maybe. But both of them had abandoned her when she’d needed them most.
Her heart hitched. Had God abandoned her or had she done the running? What? Where had that come from? Out of nowhere. Or maybe out of her talks with Reid. She didn’t know anymore. About anything.
