Maybe there wasa reason for running into her today. A reason beyond helping her with Fowler. Maybe this was the opportunity Reid needed to right his life. To look beyond his own suffering to help others. If so, was he ready for it?
Jessie pushed past him and went straight to Ella’s bed. The pale child squealed. Bandit took it in stride and trotted to the bed, his head tilted as he sat to wait for direction from Jessie.
“Puppy!” Ella shouted. “Can I pet him?”
“Sure.” Jessie thrust her chest out. They’d recently adopted Bandit from his brother Ryan’s wife of a year, and to say Jessie was a proud owner was an understatement.
Ella smiled at her mother. “This is the best surprise ever, Mommy.”
The sweet voice coming from a body ravaged by chemotherapy tore at Reid’s already shredded heart.
She’s so sick. I want to help them beyond today, but I don’t think I can. It’s hard enough seeing kids I don’t know in these beds, but Ella is Megan’s daughter. Megan’s!
He forced his attention to Jessie. She kept the professional approach her training dictated and set Bandit on Ella’s lap. Bandit settled down, and Ella stroked his head, a dazzling smile breaking free.
Oh man, this was worse for sure. She looked like a mini-Megan.
Reid shifted his focus to Megan. Expected to see her pain lessened, but a deep anguish lingered in her eyes, darkening them. Stealing his breath. He had to help her. Had to move heaven and earth to take away her anguish. To take away the despair of wondering if someone she loved was going to die as Diane had.
Diane’s face as she slipped away to heaven came back to him as clearly as if she were in the room. Peaceful, serene. His heart ripping in two. Jessie sobbing and clutching his hand.
No. No. I can’t do this. Can’t watch as the child of someone I once cared for suffers.I just can’t.
4
Reid turned away. Took a few steps toward the door. He’d never been one to run from his problems, but he’d found himself wanting to bolt lately when the going got overly tough. Like now. With Ella.
And what kind of man does that make you?
He stopped.
He’d run out on Megan before and couldn’t abandon her again. Especially when the stakes were higher.
Quit focusing on Ella’s illness. Keep your thoughts on Fowler. Yeah, do that.He might be able to do something about Fowler.
The child’s illness, he’d have to play by ear. Maybe work through the impact it was having on him. Not alone, but with God’s help.
He curled his fingers tight and stepped into the detached mode the FBI had taught him to adopt when bad things happened to good people. He’d had to do that many times and could do it now. Sure, he could.
He swallowed. “Megan.”
She faced him, and he tipped his head at the doorway.
She nodded and leaned close to Ella. “While you play with Bandit, I’m going out in the hallway for a minute. Okay?”
Ella, eyes fixed on Bandit, gave an absent nod. Megan crossed the room, and Reid moved, allowing her to exit into the hallway.
He leaned on the door frame. “I need to stay here where I can see Jessie. The hospital made an exception to let an underage volunteer do the therapy work, so I don’t want to risk her losing this opportunity by not keeping her in view.”
“I understand.”
He glanced at the trio in the room. “I don’t think they’ll pay us much attention anyway. We could probably shout at each other and Ella wouldn’t notice.”
Megan’s gaze returned to Ella. The start of a smile found her lips, but then she focused on Reid and it disappeared. “Did you learn anything about Fowler?”
All business, the way he kept thinking he wanted it. So why was he disappointed?
“You remember Jack Duger?” Reid asked.
