“Naming Olivo as the mastermind and telling us where he kept the records and other things he used for his illegal business could make the judge go easier on you,” Ian said, though honestly he didn’t know if it would or not. Still, even though Olivo was dead, Junior deserved justice, and that would only happen if the older man’s part in the murder came out.
“We’re done here.” Snipes looked at the door. “Deputy! I’m through.”
“Just think about what we told you,” Londyn said. “I want to make things easier for you, but you have to help me do that.”
He arched an eyebrow. “You’re pretty to look at lady, and I know you want me to focus on that and forget who you are. But you no more want to help me than this clown does. If you want to waste your time sitting across the table from me, letting me take my fill of looking at you, be my guest. But anything else? Nah. That’s not going to happen, and you might as well stop trying.”
Malone woke to birds chirping and a decided chill in the air. Winter was coming, and she wanted to get a jump on the renovations so she could relax in front of the fire. She dressed in ragged jeans—not the pre-torn kind that were popular these days—along with an old college sweatshirt. Perfect attire for ripping into that wall by the front door. But as much as she was eager, she had work to do first. She had calls and emails to return and several urgent motions to file.
She grabbed her computer and went to the kitchen, where she made a full pot of strong coffee. She plopped down at the counter while it perked. Not thinking about Ian at all. At least, not letting herself think about him when he came to mind, which he’d done several times an hour when she wasn’t sleeping.
“Argh. Stop.” She focused on her work and took breaks to refill her coffee. She sipped and stared at the modern flat front cabinets. Did she really want to return this room to look like her past? Could she even get materials that would match? Did they make honey oak cabinets and the same pattern Formica countertops as her parents had? And what about the beige-and-powder-blue vinyl floors her mother had loved?
Probably more important to ask herself was, would she be spending a large chunk of change and devaluing the property in the same stroke? Likely. And what would it accomplish other than lowering her bank balance? The remodel wouldn’t bring her parents back. Nothing would. And she didn’t want to be stuck in the past like she’d been since that first night she learned she was an orphan.
Nothing could erase that searing pain.
Well, nothing but God’s love. He could do anything. Everything. He’d shown her that. He’d cared for her every day since she’d lost her mom and dad. She still didn’t know why she’d had to lose them, but she did know the gut-wrenching anguish prepared her to help others.
God probably didn’t want her living in her past. Maybe that was what the situation with Junior was meant to teach her.
She opened her computer and searched for Bible verses about living in the past. Over one-hundred verses came up on the subject. She’d been so focused on her losses that she hadn’t stopped to see how God was at work in her life. Sure, she’d cried out to Him over the years. So many times, and He’d been there. Caring for and helping her. But she still resented losing her parents, and she could see now that her bitterness had blinded her to possibilities.
I’m so sorry. I didn’t realize. But now I do. Forgive me. Thank You for putting Ian in my life, drawing me away from what I thought I really wanted. Even if he doesn’t want me. I’m glad for our time together. Let me remember the past for the good that it’s brought to my life. For what it’s taught me. And let me use it all to help other people who are suffering.
Feeling like years of heaviness were starting to lift from her shoulders, Malone went to the family room and grabbed a hammer. Rage funneled through her arm and into her hand, nearly sending the hammer through the other side of the wall.
Wow.Where did that anger come from? Maybe the last week of stress?
Maybe years of unresolved issues.
She hit the wall again and again. “If you want to leave your past behind, why are you still doing this remodel? Why do you need to make it exactly like you remembered? Or like Dad wanted?”
Yeah, why?
If she were one of her clients leaving an abusive spouse, she would tell them they were stuck in the past. Was she stuck too?
She settled down on the floor and began pulling the drywall away from the studs.
She was caught in the past. Sure, she was. Time to admit it. But did she want to stay there or do something about it? To have a life like the one Reed and Sierra were building? To have children and live her life to the fullest?
That was what she wanted. Exactly what she wanted. No doubt anymore.
She dug her phone from her pocket and dialed her real estate agent. The call went straight to voicemail.
She waited for the beep. “It’s Malone Rice. I’ve decided I want to sell this house. Give me a call when you can so we can draw up a contract. I want to get it sold quickly.”
Yes, perfect. She would move on just as she said. Beyond Ian, because he didn’t want her. And she would find the man God had planned for her life.
18
Ian wanted to call Malone. Badly. Maybe ask her out to dinner to talk about a potential future, but he didn’t know if he could live each day with the fact that, if they got together, his true colors might fly. What if he started exhibiting his parents’ tendencies. He would only hurt the person he was now coming to believe he loved. And wasn’t it love to walk away when that was best for the other person?
But what if Peggy was right? What if he wasn’t toxic to Malone?
Is Peggy right? Can I pursue this? Become the man You made me to be?
He wasn’t ready to talk to Malone about it yet, but he had to question her about the house.
