She tried to ask what was wrong, but the words wouldn’t come out. Despite the fact his tongue was just in her mouth, they weren’t close enough for her to start asking intrusive questions. He was entitled to his privacy, even if the not knowing made her crazy.
“Is it my breath?” she teased in the hopes of getting things back to normal. “It must be bad enough to make morning breath smell enticing.”
Declan gave her a small smile as he struggled to regain his restraint over himself. He’d been so close to throwing away centuries of discipline by stripping her bare and burying himself inside her.
Then she’d started pulling off his shirt, and reality returned. He couldn’t take the chance of losing control and unleashing what he’d trapped inside him. If he did, he would end up like his father. Except he’d becomemoreof a monster.
There were things she could never see and some things he never wanted her to learn about him. His past was a festering pit of evil and depravity, and hers was one of love and happiness. The things he’d done….
He pushed the memory away as he brought himself back to the present. She was joking about bad breath to make him feel better whenheshould be apologizing toher.
“I’m sorry,” he said.
His voice was so gruff she barely recognized it. When he tugged at the ends of his hair, he pulled so hard, she winced for him. She had no idea how he could do that to himself, yet he didn’t seem to feel the pain he inflicted on himself.
Willow ached to go to him and comfort him but suspected she was the cause of his suffering even if she didn’t understandwhyorhowshe was causing him such distress. He dipped a hand inside his jacket and removed a lollipop.
Her eyebrows drew together as he methodically unwrapped the candy and put it in his mouth as he stared over her shoulder and into the woods. She recalled seeing him do this before he went to Mexico, but she had no idea why a purebred vampire would eat anything human.
She could understand a turned vamp missing some of the foods they once ate; her mom still liked to drink hot chocolate, and many vamps drank alcohol, but for the most part, she’d never seen a vamp eat human food.
She had so many questions about this man, and she suspected he wouldn’t tell her anything. She’d never met anyone as infuriating or intriguing in her life. Nothing about things progressing between them was a good idea, but she found herself not caring as much as she once did.
“There’s no reason to be sorry,” she said. “I wasn’t complaining.”
His eyes flicked toward her before darting away again. They weren’t red anymore, but they were darker than normal, and she sensed he still wasn’t entirely in control. The crunch of the lollipop was as loud as a gunshot in the woods, and she flinched at the sound.
Declan pulled the stick from his mouth and used the wrapper to cover the end of it before tucking it back into his pocket and pulling out another one. From the scent, it was another banana, and he welcomed the revolting flavor on his tongue; it helped to erase Willow’s taste. Despite thinking her breath was atrocious, she’d tasted sweet, and he wanted a whole lot more of her.
“What’s with the lollipops?” she asked to divert their attention from what passed between them and the awkwardness that followed.
The corners of his lips quirked into a smile as he twirled the stick between them. “I’m curious to see how many licks it takes to get to the center.”
She couldn’t have heard him right. “What?”
“It was a commercial. But then, it was probably long before your time.”
“I know the commercial; it’s run for years. Why do you want to know the answer?”
He shrugged. “There are so many things in this world that I can’t answer; I might as well answer the things I can.”
For some reason, she didn’t buy his explanation, but she let it go. They’d had enough awkwardness between them tonight without creating more, and the way they were going, they might never see civilization again.
She couldn’t think of much worse than being trapped in the woods with someone she couldn’t look at or talk to without blushing. They weren’t to that point yet, but if they kept going this way, they would get there.
“We should go,” she said when the first rays of the sun poked through the trees.
Declan would far prefer to draw her back into his arms and finish what they started, but it was better this way.
“Yes, we should,” he said.
Chapter Twenty
Willow splashedwater on her face before using it to wash her hands and arms. Sitting back on her heels, she surveyed the forest, but it looked the same as it had yesterday and the day before and the day before that. There were no homes, no stores, and no roads to break the monotony of the trees. The only change in the land was when it rose up a hill and fell into a valley.
She spent a lot of time outside as a kid, running through fields, playing in the woods, and swimming with her siblings; she’d loved the freedom it brought her, and she loved the animals. But now she’d had enough of the outdoors and was ready to be inside somewhere warm and comfortable. At least they hadn’t heard the howls of the Savages again.
She missed civilization, showers, and her bed. But most of all, she missed being with someone who didn’t go out of their way to avoidlookingat her. It was a chilly night, but instead of waking in his arms, she awoke to find his jacket draped around her.
