She was practically bouncing on her toes whenshe walked into the tent. She had no idea where he had gotten it,but the small heater in the corner made the space toasty warm. Thecheckered blanket covering the roof had a plate and two wineglasses on it. A tin package sat on the plate, and the scent ofmarinara sauce wafted from it. The bucket of ice next to theblanket held a bottle of champagne.
Julian took her hand and led her over to theblanket. “If I recall, chicken parmesan was your favorite.”
Her eyebrows shot up at the revelation herecalled this trivial detail. “How did you remember that?”
“I spent the past four and a half yearsrecalling every detail about you so I wouldn’t forgetanything.”
Tears bloomed in her eyes before she threwherself into his arms. At one time, she didn’t think she’d everforgive him for walking out of her life, but he’d hurt himself alot when he did it. She loved him more for his selflessness.
“What would you have done if you returned tofind me married with kids?” she asked. “Or engaged or simply withsomeone else I loved?”
Julian’s arms tightened around her. It couldhave happened, and it would have been his fault. “I would have leftyou alone to enjoy your life.”
“But if I’m your mate, then what would havebecome of you? What would it have done toyou?”
Julian clasped her hand and led her over tothe blanket. He helped her settle into place before bending to pullthe plastic top off the container of food. Aida watched hisgraceful fingers, setting the food before her. She tried to peer upat him, but he kept his head turned away from her as he turnedtoward the bucket of ice.
A hollow pit opened in her stomach when sherealized he was trying to avoid her questions. “Julian, what aren’tyou telling me?”
Julian removed the champagne from the bucketand uncorked it. “I’d hoped because we’d done nothing more thankiss, I could continue without you after I reached maturity.”
“But…?” she prodded when he stoppedspeaking.
“But after six months, I realized that wasn’tgoing to happen. It became increasingly difficult to stay away fromyou, and it was becoming increasingly difficult to maintain mycontrol. Something had to give.”
“You told me you came back to see yourfamily.”
“I did come back to see them.”
Aida’s stomach protested when she lowered herfork instead of plunging it into the chicken parm. “Whydidyou come back to see them?”
Julian finished pouring the champagne and seta glass beside her on the roof while he sipped his. Tilting hishead back, he examined the clear plastic only an inch over hishead. He’d specially ordered the tent so they could see the nightsky. The stars weren’t anywhere near as vivid here as they were inMaine, but a few of them shone in the sky.
“To say goodbye,” he said as he sat on theblanket across from her.
Aida’s hand clenched around her fork. “Whatdo you meangoodbye?” She suspected his answer, but sheneeded to hear him confirm it.
“I was getting to a point where I wasdangerous around humans,” he said. “There were only a few choicesleft to me.”
“And those choices were?”
“Death, to be locked away, or to turn Savage.And I far prefer death to becoming a Savage or being lockedaway.”
Aida’s hand flew to her mouth to cover hercry of dismay. “There are other options!”
“Not for me. Once I stopped aging, I startedrapidly losing control. Being in public became a constant struggle,and I wanted to slaughter every human who came near me.”
He couldn’t meet her gaze as he admittedthis, so he stared at the wall. He hated that she’d seen thedarkness inside him in the alley; he’d hoped to keep that worstpiece of himself hidden from her.
“There are purebred vampires who live forcenturies without turning into a Savage,” she said.
“But they haven’t found their mates and giventhem up. It was different for me, Aida. When I left, I knew that,without you, my life was never going to be a long one. Even if Icould make it another fifty years, once you died, that would havebeen the end of me. And I wasn’t going to make it another fiftyyears.”
“You would have rather died than tell methis?”
“If I came back to find you happily marriedwith children, yes.”
“You would have died for me?”
