“Neither did I,” Aida said.
“And you’re still mad at him for it,” Cassidysaid.
Mad, sad, betrayed, lost, unsure, untrusting,and falling in love all over again. She could have run through awhole list of emotions and uncertainties about Julian, but in theend, she settled for the truth.
“I don’t know what I am anymore, what he is,or where we stand.”
“I get it,” Cassidy said, but Aida didn’tunderstand the troubled look in her eyes.
Aida ran a hand through her hair beforesighing; she was glad someone got it, because she didn’t.
“I’m going to take a shower,” she mutteredbefore pushing herself away from the door and walking down thehall.
CHAPTER 25
Aida lowered her camera to stare at the surroundingbuildings while the sun’s rays colored the sky with tinges of pink,yellow, and orange. The crisp night gave way to a warming morningas the city started to come alive again.
The buildings closest to her were all aboutthe same height as her apartment building, but as they spreadfurther out, they got taller. The sun’s rays reflecting off theglass of those taller buildings created a dazzling effect sheitched to capture with her camera, but it wasn’t working out thatgreat. Besides, this was one of those moments she had to see andlive for herself.
She’d been on the roof in the early morninghours many times, but something about almost dying the night beforegave her a whole new appreciation for the world and all itsspectacular beauty.
As the morning progressed, she listened tothe increasing hum of tires on asphalt, the beep of horns, and thevoices of the people on the street below. Standing here andabsorbing it all gave her a sense of freedom that made her feelincredibly alive as she struggled to keep her concern over Julianand Kyle constrained.
She gripped her camera against her chest asshe strode across the black roof to lean over the small,two-foot-high wall to the street below. Lifting her camera, shetook a couple of shots of the people strolling the sidewalks andsome of the cars as they wove in and out of traffic. Takingpictures was usually a great way to distract herself from hertroubles; it wasn’t working today.
She lowered her camera again as a pack ofkids ran down the sidewalk, darted across the road, and entered thediner on the corner. She searched for Julian and Kyle among thepedestrians but didn’t see them.
Turning away from the sidewalk, she studiedthe pigeons waddling around the top of the building. Some of themflew off when she approached; the others waddled away faster. Whenshe arrived at the other side of the building, she leaned over toinspect the sidewalk as she searched for Julian and Kyle again.
Lifting the camera, she snapped a fewpictures of a mom pushing a stroller down the street and another ofa pigeon that waddled into her view. Lowering the camera again, shewas struck by the whim to rest her fingers against the pigeon’sfeathers.
Slowly, she stretched her fingers forward andwas about to touch it when the plump bird spread its wings and flewaway. Her hand hovered in the air before she lowered it. She didn’tknow why, but the bird’s flight made her feel more alone than shehad in years.
Where were Julian and Kyle? They should beback. Had Julian been able to get a car? Or had it taken longerthan he anticipated and they hadn’t been able to move the body? Herhand went to her cell phone, but she’d deleted Julian’s number lastyear.
At the time, she’d been scrolling through hercontacts in search of her doctor’s office and came across Julian’sname. The shock and sorrow seeing his name caused almost made herthrow her phone across the table, and then she was hit by theridiculous inclination to text him.
Before she could do anything that stupidagain, she hit delete instead. She’d tried to contact him, and he’dnever responded; she knew how to take a hint, so there was noreason to have his name in her phone.
She could go back into the apartment to askCassidy if she’d heard anything, but the idea of being inside madeher skin crawl. Like when she first escaped the island, shecouldn’t tolerate walls around her right now.
Aida paced over to the other side of thebuilding and looked across the roof of the building adjoining hersbefore turning away. She played with the strap of her camera as shewalked over to the fourth wall.
A man stood on the top of the building nextto hers. He tossed handfuls of grain to the pigeons flocking aroundhim. When he spotted her, he waved before returning his attentionto the birds.
Aida took a couple of pictures of him beforeheading back to the first wall and peering over again. More peoplewere on the street as the early morning hours gave way tomidmorning and they emerged to enjoy the weekend and the burgeoningspring. A woman with messed-up hair and carrying a high-heeled shoewas doing the walk of shame as she passed the diner and turned ontoAida’s street.
She still saw no sign of Julian, but maybehe’d come back while she was on the other side of the building.Lifting her camera, Aida took a few pictures of another group ofkids running in and out of the crowd. They turned the corner andvanished around the buildings.
She fiddled with her camera strap and turnedto pace back to the other side of the building when the door to theroof opened. She held her breath as her hand fell to the fresh canof pepper spray in her pocket and her heart thudded with excitementover the possibility it could be Julian.
When Julian stepped out of the doorway, hershoulders sagged as he searched the roof before turning toward her.She gripped her camera like it was a talisman that could protecther from her growing feelings for him.
No, that wasn’t right. They weren’t growing;they’d always been there, but having him so close brought them allback. All those years ago, when they spent every day togetherwalking the woods, fishing, sitting on the beach, swimming, andtalking for endless hours, she’d fallen in love with him.
At the time, she was so damaged she couldn’tacknowledge her feelings until he kissed her, but his kiss changedeverything. Before that kiss, Julian was the boy, constantcompanion, and the best friend she leaned on. After, he was the manshe wanted to share her life with.
Before the island, she flitted from oneboyfriend to the other. She never stayed long enough to get closeto them, and she was fine with it. Some would chalk her short andcasual relationships up to daddy issues, and maybe that’s what itwas, but boys were more of a way to pass the time than anything totake seriously.
