Ian hugged her closer when he felt thetremors shaking her body. She’d always been so dauntless around himand the others, but now her anxiety was palpable. “That will neverhappen. I’m going to hunt him down, and I’m going to kill him.You’ll never know fear or abuse again. I can promise you that.”
“You could be hurt, and I couldn’t live withmyself if something happened to you.”
Ian scoffed and shook his head. “Don’t worryabout me, that bastard doesn’t stand a chance once I get my handson him.”
“Ian…”
“I’m not kidding. I will find him, I willdestroy him, and you will never know another sleepless nightagain.”
The look on his face left no doubt in hermind about that. His eyes glistened like ice chips in January. Hereyebrows rose at his statement; he was so unlike the carefree,easy-going man she’d come to know. She saw the vampire now, butinstead of scaring her, she found herself oddly drawn to him evenmore.Hers, she thought, and it felt completely right. Amissing piece of the puzzle clicked into place.
“So is Paige your fake name?” heinquired.
She chuckled and rested her cheek againsthis chest. “Paige is my real name. When I was with the hunters Iwas known as Ruth Trinkle.”
Ian released a harsh bark of laughter.“Paige is much better.”
“I agree,” she murmured, absentmindedlytrailing her fingers over his broad chest.
“I’m sorry for what you’ve had to endure,”he whispered. “I’ll keep you safe now, if you’ll let me.”
She let herself drift into his touch, letherself be lost to the pleasure he gave her. “I know you believeI’m your mate, but what if you grow bored with only one woman?”
His hand stilled on her cheek as he sat backfrom her. “I never could… it’s not…” He broke off as he searchedfor words. “All those women, it’s not what you think. It’s not thelife I planned to lead, it’s the life Ihadto lead.”
Her forehead furrowed as she stared at him“I don’t understand.”
He ran his hand through his hair. How did heexplain it to her without driving her further away? She’d alreadyseen the worst of what a vampire could do, already experiencedtheir brutality firsthand, and now he was going to tell her what?He had to sleep around in order to release some of his pent-upenergy because he believed he might kill someone if he didn’t.
“I don’t know how to explain this withoutpushing you away,” he admitted.
Her hand wrapped around his. “My entire lifehas been running and hiding. People I believed I could trust havelied to me and betrayed me. You’ll only push me away if you lie tome.”
He squeezed her hand and bent to place akiss against her temple before sitting back again. “Those womenwere a release, an escape from this clawing monster inside of me.Being with them and drinking their blood helped to ease what isinside of me. I’m not a killer, Paige.” His eyes burned into hersas he spoke. “But there’s a brutality inside of me that intensifiedwhen I stopped aging. The only time it was a little pacified waswhen I was with them.”
She didn’t know how to respond or feel aboutthat one. “And they made you feel better?”
“For a brief period of time, yes, but thenit would come back again, and I would have to go back out.”
“That’s why there were so many of them?”
“Yes. And why they were always differentwomen. They understood one night was all I was good for with them.I didn’t want to lead anyone on by letting them think there couldbe a relationship between us. I knew there never could be.”
“I see,” she murmured and looked away fromhim.
“You wanted the truth.”
“I did.” Her attention returned to him; shemanaged a tremulous smile. She knew he believed her to be thismystical mate thing, but what if they had sex and he realized he’dbeen wrong after all? The thought left her feeling barren andhollow. “How do you know I’ll be enough to help with what is insideof you?”
He leaned closer to her, his lips brushedagainst her ear when he spoke. “Because you already are Paige. Iwant nothing more than to be inside of you, but if you neverallowed it, I would never turn to someone else, and I will alwaysstay by your side.”
His words filled her with awe; she restedher hand against his cheek. “Thank you for being honest withme.”
“I’m not proud of what I’ve done, but I’mnot ashamed.”
She squeezed his hand. “I’m not saying youshould be ashamed. I don’t completely understand what you are orwhat you’ve endured, but I know you’re a good man.”
He relaxed against her and pressed hercloser against him. Her hand fell to her mouth; she stifled a yawn.“I’ll let you get back to sleep.”
