Saxon shook his head as self-loathing coiled through him. He could be ruthless and vicious, but he’d never considered himself malicious or selfish. If he did that to her, he would be no better than Joseph. No, he’d be worse; Joseph had owned what he was.
Elyse hated the despair Saxon emanated as he bowed his head and his shoulders hunched up. His emotional turbulence battered against her, and she recalled what he’d told her about a vampire needing to complete the mate bond or else they went insane. Was that what was happening to him?
“Saxon?” She cupped his cheek and lifted his head to look at her. Red shimmered in his eyes, and his extended fangs pressed against his upper lip. She’d never seen anyone look so tormented before. “Oh.”
She placed her good hand against the back of his head and drew him closer for a kiss. She should be terrified of the unraveling she sensed in him, but all she felt was a need to comfort him. At that moment, she realized how much she cared for him.
“I’m not saying no forever,” she said. “Just for now.”
“I can help you.”
“You can help me, and I can be used tohurtyou.”
“Elyse,” he groaned.
His anguish-filled groan tore at her heart, but she couldn’t change her mind. She already had her father’s blood on her hands; she couldn’t have Saxon’s there too. When his red eyes met hers, she held his gaze while she kissed him.
“We should go,” she said. “We’ve been here for at least an hour.”
Saxon stopped her when she went to swing her legs out of bed. “You’re not leaving here with your arm like that.”
“We can’t stay.”
If she wouldn’t take his blood to heal, then he would at least make sure the humans took care of her. “I’ll handle it; stay in bed.”
Elyse bristled at his commanding tone, but she decided not to push the unstable vampire. She settled back in the bed as he opened the door and told the doctor and nurse to come in.
“Can you do the surgery now?” Saxon asked.
The doctor’s brow furrowed. “The surgeon isn’t here now.”
“Call him and get him here. I don’t care what it takes, and if he gives you any trouble, let me talk to him.”
“There’s a whole team of people to assemble.”
“Then go and assemble it. She’s to be in surgery in less than an hour.”
Chapter Thirty-One
Saxon staredinto the operating room on the other side of the window. Usually, he wouldn’t be allowed anywhere near the room he stood in, but he used his ability to get inside. He’d prefer to beinthe operating room with her, but when the surgeon said it would be safer if Saxon weren’t there, he relented to staying here.
The stringent scent of chemicals burned his nose, and he’d turned off the lights in this room to cut down on their glare. He was too wound up to handle the assault on his senses as it took everything he had not to go in there, pull Elyse out, and give her his blood.
He glanced at the clock on the wall; it was already almost five in the morning. It had taken longer than an hour to get everyone they needed for Elyse’s surgery. They’d wheeled her into the room ten minutes ago, and she lay on the table with a sheet pulled up to her waist and a hospital gown on while the doctors and nurses worked around her.
“You should have made her take your blood,” Lucien muttered as he paced the room.
“Yes, because forcing a woman to do something always ends well,” Saxon retorted.
“It ends better than death.”
Saxon glowered at him.
“What’s done is done,” Declan said from where he leaned against the wall. “There is no changing it.”
“Does Ronan know about this?” Lucien asked.
“I called him,” Saxon said. “He’s not happy.”
