Killean tore his gaze away from the wall to focus on her. When he gazed at her, he could keep himself in the present. “I was not spared.”
He thought it would shame him to admit this to her, to anyone, as he’d kept it from his uncle too. Though he was sure his uncle had known the truth. But Killean experienced no shame. Instead, it felt as if a weight were lifted from his shoulders. The horrible truth was out there, and it hadn’t made him weaker, and she wasn’t gazing at him as if he were repugnant.
“Oh, Killean,” she breathed. “I am so sorry.”
Killean pulled her hand away from his arm. “You weren’t there. Don’t apologize for it, and don’t feel sorry for me.”
Tears welled in her eyes as he turned away from her and paced over to the window. He pulled a corner of the curtain aside to peer out. Though she’d glimpsed the boy he’d been, he was stealing himself into a ruthless man again, but then he would have had to become hardened to survive what was done to him.
They were only children andhunters, the ones she’d always considered thegoodguys, had done unspeakable things to them. She didn’t doubt Savages inflicted the same abuse on other innocents, but hunters were supposed to be above that.
Her tears dried up as rage swelled forth. If it had been possible for those hunters to still be alive, she would have killed them herself for doing such a thing to those children, and toherKillean.Her fangs pricked at the idea of him enduring that abuse, and suddenly, she had an overwhelming urge to kill something too.
Then she recalled his words after he’d scrubbed at the blisters on his hands and understanding dawned. “Don’t feel sorry for them; they were all pieces of shit and some of the worst of the human race. Each of them was either a rapist or child molester. Their deaths mean someone else won’t suffer at their hands.”
“Thisis why you only killed rapists and child molesters,” she breathed as understanding dawned. It was also why he’d seemed so upset when he asked her if Joseph or anyone else had violated her. He knew how horrible such a thing was, and he didn’t want anyone else to have to suffer through the same thing he had.
Killean didn’t reply, but she knew she was right.
“You were only children,” she said.
“We werenothingto them, and they let us know it.”
“No wonder you hate that I’m your mate so much.”
And her heart broke as she realized he might never be able to let go of his past and see her as anything more than a hunter—a thing he despised.
Killean’s attention shifted to her, and the tears shimmering in her eyes caused his hand to fall away from the curtain.
“But I don’t hate it,” he said. “Yes, in the beginning, I wasinfuriatedby it and believed it the cruelest twist of fate.I vowed to let you rot with Joseph, but I found myself unable to leave you there. Then I vowed to get you free, take you back to your kind, and never see you again. Now I know you’re much more than I thought you were, and I’m such a miserable, selfish prick that I don’t want to let you go.”
Admitting that to her terrified him more than admitting his past did.
Simone didn’t know how to feel about that. The wildness she sensed in Killean frightened her; she didn’t know what he would do, how well he could control himself, or if he would ultimately lose himself as Joseph and the other Savages had, but Simone knew she could ease the turmoil churning through him.
“You gave up everything for me; that’s far from selfish, Killean. And whether you believe it or not, you deserve to be here; you deserve to have lived.”
“I have to feed,” he said again.
She brushed her hair off her neck as she closed the distance between them. “You don’t have to go out to feed; I’m right here.”
Chapter Twenty-Nine
Saliva rushedinto Killean’s mouth as he gazed at the tempting curve of her delicate neck. A single, brown freckle just below her ear was the only thing marring the perfection of her ivory skin. He rested his fingers against her throat to feel her steady pulse. Such an enticing beat; such an alluring woman. She lured him like no other, but if he fed on her…
It would be one step closer to completing the mating bond, one step closer to Simone never being free of Savages for he held out little hope for himself anymore.
“Killean—”
“If I drink from you, it will only further the mate bond between us.” His fingers traced her throat while he spoke. “Drinking from each other and sex will seal it.”
“I’m not offering you my body, Killean, only my blood.”
“It will still make it more difficult for us to resist each other, and you have to be able to walk away from me.”
“Why?” she demanded.
Killean blinked at her. Didn’t she see him for what he was? “Because you deserve better than me, and I am not the man I was before.”
