I gave up trying to hold my ground against him and backed away as his words melted my resistance. He wasn’t lying. He hadn’t been with anyone else, and he had given me the chance to walk away from him; I hadn’ttakenit.
He will hurt me.It wasn’t a matter ofifhe would hurt me, it was only a matter ofwhenit would happen. Human or not, everyone died in theWilds.
Corson’s hands flexed at his sides as he watched me, but he didn’t try to stop me from putting some spacebetweenus.
“Yes, you did warn me,” Imurmured.
I should have listened to him more, but I’d been too caught up in the moment, and him, to think it through. Plus, I hadn’t believed I could be his Chosen. Things would have been different if I’d known; I would have walked away from him. But even as I thought that, I wondered if it was true. I’d wanted him with an intensity that hadn’t left any room for rational thought. I still wanted to give in to himnow, but terror kept me fromdoingso.
“We’re good together,” hemurmured.
“The only reason you want me is because you have no choice in the matter,” I said and awkwardly tugged on a sock while continuing to move further away from him. His eyes stalked my every move like a hawk circling its prey. “Some biological demon thing has told you that, for someinsanereason, you can only have offspring with me. If you had a choice, you would prefersomeoneelse.”
“No, Iwouldn’t.”
I ignored the cold when I jammed my foot into my soaked boot. “You’re only saying that because you just shot your load for thefirsttime!”
Corson lifted a black eyebrow at me; he smiled briefly before suppressing it. What the hell was I saying? I didn’t know anymore. I only knew I had to get away from him. I shoved my foot into my other boot and tied the laces with fumblingfingers.
“I will admit that what I experienced with you is beyond anything I’ve ever experienced before,” he said. “I didn’t know sex could bethatgood. I’ve heard what they say about a demon with their Chosen, but I thought they exaggerated. I was wrong. There will never be anyone else for me,onlyyou.”
“Because your DNA is telling you to feelthatway.”
I ran my fingers through my hair in an attempt to detangle it as I edged toward the hallway. I had to keep moving. If I stopped, I would have to acknowledge the sense of loss growingwithinme.
“I would still care for you if you weren’t my Chosen,”hesaid.
“You can’t possibly know that, and don’tsaythat!”
“I can know it, and don’tsaywhat?”
“That you careforme.”
“Wren—”
“The people who care about me die!” I snapped. “The people I care about die. My parents weren’t the only losses I’ve endured over the years. There have been countless others. Maury who had a potbelly and a lopsided grin. He loved Greek mythology and was teaching me about it. He had his head ripped off when a demon crept out of the bushes behind him while he was in the middle of telling me aboutHermes.”
The sympathy in Corson’s eyes didn’t make me stop speaking. If anything, it made my words come out in more ofarush.
“Or there was Rebecca, who would watch me when Randy went out to hunt. She’d play games with me and braid my hair. She died while giving birth, and so did the baby. She bit on a stick for hours to keep from screaming, but in the end it was for nothing. I watched as she bled out and the baby never took abreath.
“Over the years there have been so many others who cared for me and died. Do you want to know about them?” I demanded. “Do you want to know their names and stories too? Because I hadn’t thought about them or recalled their names in years, but I remember themallnow.”
“Wren—”
“I still have some friends, but I’ve learned not to get too close to anyone anymore. Randy is the only one who has managed to last these past fourteen years, and even he might be gone now.” I hated that my voice choked on those words, but I couldn’tstopit.
Corson opened his mouth before closing it again. Before I could stop him, he stepped closer to me and rested his hand against my cheek. “I’m not easytokill.”
I shrugged his hand off and backed further away from him. “You’re still killable, and death is the way lifeworks.”
“Yes, it is, but I do care for you,” he said. “You arethemost infuriating, stubborn, and hostile woman I’ve ever met. You're also kind and protective, even when you try to hide it. I admire your ruthlessness and your willingness to kill anyone or anything that endangers someone you careabout.
“I’ve witnessed you placing yourself in front of other Wilders to shield them. I watch you wait until your followers have all eaten before you do, and I see you take less food than they do. You worry about their injuries and speak tenderly to them when you clean and dress those wounds. You show this callous, brash side to the world, but I see through it. You try not to let anyone in, you convinceyourselfthat you keep everyone out, but your followers are in your heart, and there is more caring in you than you’ll ever acknowledge. You wouldn’t have traveled to the wallotherwise.”
“What makes you say that?” Iasked.
“You’ve come to like and trust demons and civvies more since going to the wall, but it was your need to make sure your fellow Wilders had a better life that brought you to the wall in the first place. You wouldn’t have come foryourself.”
