Jade smiled faintly.“I’ve been called worse.”
She adjusted Jane again, pressing a quick kiss to her cheek.“Thank you.Really.”
“Anytime, dear,” Mrs.Rochford told her.
Jade nodded, already turning toward the door before the weight of everything could catch up with her again.The hallway felt colder this time, or maybe that was just the numbers running through her head.
Rent was due in less than a week, utilities behind.What she had left after paying Mrs.Rochford was not enough.Hell, it wasn’t even close.
Her chest tightened as she unlocked her apartment door and pushed it open.It was dark and quiet inside.She flicked on the light, the weak bulb buzzing overhead.
Jade set her bag down and kicked the door shut behind her, shifting Jane in her arms.The apartment was small.It had two bedrooms, one for her and Jane, and one bathroom.
It was clean, at least.She made sure of that.It was the one thing she could control.
“You hungry, huh?”she murmured to Jane, who had started to fuss lightly.
“Ma.”
“Yeah, I know,” Jade said.
Jade set her down in the little highchair by the counter and moved to the fridge.She opened it and stared.
There was half a carton of eggs, a nearly empty bottle of milk, a limp bunch of something that might have been spinach a few days ago.Additionally, there was leftover rice in a container pushed to the back.That was it, and Jade swallowed hard.
“Okay,” she said softly, more to herself than to Jane.“Okay, we can make this work.”
These days, she always said that.Jade pulled out the eggs, cracked two into a pan, added the rice, stirring it together with practiced motions.The smell was fine.It would be bland, but edible.It wasn’t enough, she thought.
Jane babbled behind her, little hands smacking against the tray.Jade’s vision blurred for a second.She blinked hard, forcing it back.
“Almost done,” she said, her voice thinner than she wanted it to be.
She plated the food, portioning most of it into Jane’s bowl.Less for herself, of course—her baby came first.Jane ate happily, tiny fingers grabbing at the food, smearing more than she actually got into her mouth.
Jade watched her, something twisting painfully in her chest.
She should have more, and certainly better, food.Fresh fruit and vegetables for one, things that didn’t come from the bottom shelf of a discount store.
Jade picked at her own portion, appetite gone.Her hands started to shake. It was too much.The bills seemed endless.No matter how many hours she put in at the diner, it wasn’t sufficient.It felt like there was too much weight pressing down on her chest until it felt hard to breathe.
Her eyes burned.She turned her face away from Jane, pressing the heel of her hand hard against her mouth.Jade couldn’t break down, not now, and certainly not in front of her daughter.
Jade squeezed her eyes shut, forcing the tears back, swallowing down the breakdown clawing its way up her throat.She took a slow, shaky breath, then another.When she looked back, she forced a smile onto her face.
“There you go,” she murmured softly, reaching out to wipe a smear of egg from Jane’s cheek.“Good girl.”
Jane beamed up at her, and once again, Jade managed to hold herself together.She had to, because there was no one else who would.
