The worst answer she could give. The one that has the walls closing in on me. My entire body seizes up, my chest tight and stiff. But I don’t show it. I just smile, nod, and force myself to walk away.
I knew this day was coming. I planned for it. I was just never going to be prepared for when it finally happened.
The rest of my day goes by in a blur of patients and chart filling. Things that never seemed to bother me before are tedious and aggravating. And I know it’s just because I’m upset.
He left. He left, and I have no way to see him again unless he gets hurt and needs medical attention. Something I would never wish on anyone, and yet I’m trying to recall all the times I’ve seen someone from his club here. It happens. Not often, but enough that I remember.
Especially since if one comes in, the waiting rooms are usually bursting at the seams. They take the wordfamilyvery seriously. And none of it seems about being blood or not.
If Nana or I got sick or something, it would just be the other one coming. No one else. Nana’s husband passed long ago, along with her parents. Mom never told me who my dad was. I sort of think she didn’t know. I try not to judge her for it, but her actions put me very firmly in the “no one-night stands” department.
I’ve had a few relationships, though nothing that lasted past a few months. They were okay, but I never could find someone who was worth it. Worth wanting to get up for, trying to impress enough, or just any of it.
You put in some effort with your last patient.
I shush my wayward thought as I sort the pills out for the patients at lunch. Thinking of him isn’t going to help matters now. He left, and I stayed. We were just nurse and patient. Nothing more.
It’s a lie, but one I need to believe if I want things to go back to what they were.
Even if a part of me dies at the mere thought.
Chapter 4 - Karter
One Week Later
“Man, it’s good seeing you around the club again, old man.”
“Careful who you’re calling old. Last I looked, I’m not the only one with gray in their beard,” I sass back at Bulldog.
He’s right. It feels good to be back. Better than being a lab rat at the hospital. I remember the club. Every part I see, I know, even though twenty minutes ago, I wouldn’t have been able to describe it. I just knew I’d been here before.
The mind is a weird thing. I know some things perfectly, others not at all. Then I see or hear something, and bam! Everything comes back. I recall that a fight once broke out at the pool tables because the boys got too drunk and couldn’t remember who was stripes. And at the bar, there’s a chip on the left side from when a chair was smashed into it when a vamp was told to keep walking but didn’t. The vamp wasn’t hurt, just startled enough to get her head out of her ass.
Speaking of vamps, I haven’t seen any. I know I’ve been out for a while, but I doubt Casper made that much of a change when he took over as president.
“Something going on?” That’s the only reason vamps are ever out in the cold and the families are inside.
We aren’t that cruel. We put them up if they ain’t got a place to stay. But we don’t take vamps who move into the clubhouse. Each room is reserved for a brother, not a woman. If someone wants to be a club vamp, they need their own place. They ain’t welcome on the property all the time, and they need to have a place to go when shit goes down or we’re just tired of their asses.
“We got… something in the works.” Bulldog looks away from me when he talks. A tell of his. He’s hiding something.
When I arrived at the clubhouse, I got some welcomes, but most seemed distracted by something. They’re putting on a front, and I honestly thought it was them feeling weird about their dead former president walking around.
It seems only a select few knew I was alive the whole time. The rest thought I was dead. Till I woke up. Then everyone found out, but it was still kept hushed since the club didn’t know if our enemies would make another attempt on my life.
I really thought this was just a bit of the “ex meeting the new girl” sort of awkwardness. I’ve got no ill will toward Casper. From the moment he joined the club, which I remember, I knew he would be a good fit for officer one day. And when he took on the enforcer’s role, I started thinking of him as a good backup to my position. I think we even spoke about it once, or I did with someone—not really sure on that part. I know I talked about someone taking over, but it’s muddier than the backwaters of Louisiana trying to recall who I was talking to.
“This about the girl?” I ask.
“Ruby?” He looks at me with wide eyes. I’m not sure if he’s surprised I guessed right or because I didn’t call her by her name.
I nod simply instead of asking him why he looks that way.
With a heavy sigh that has him hunching his shoulders as he twirls the beer in his hand, he nods. “Yeah.”
“Is it bad?” I look at him, dipping my head a bit to make sure he sees I’m asking. I want to know. I might not remember the girl, and I might have my own issues with her—specifically, how she talked to Diana—but doesn’t mean I don’t care enough to know how she is. It’s like asking after someone’s aunt. I’m not attached to that person, but I know they are, so I ask to show I care and support them.
Is it wrong that I know Bulldog, and half this place, feels more for her than I do right now? Probably. With her being my kid, she was most likely here often. She probably got close to the guys. I don’t know if she has an old man or not, though I don’t think so since no one is talking about it. But I doubt she stayed away and didn’t come here at all. And my club ain’t the type to ignore someone’s kid. We look after them, even if we don’t let them in the club. At least not yet. None of the boys are old enough, but one day, if they want in, we’d let them prospect. Even if they don’t want in, we’d still look after them. They’re family, after all.
