Got her now.I smirk as I open myself up and gesture for her to come closer with a simple nod to my side of the couch. “Why don’t you come over here and find out?”
“No.”
“No?” Definitely not the response I was expecting.
She shakes her head like a five-year-old, hair swaying back and forth. She even has the look of someone who’s been told they can have a cookie if they tell the truth about who broke the lamp. Wide, innocent eyes, begging me to not know she did it, but already knowing the truth.
“Babygirl,” I sigh and smile softly. “Please come here.”
I open my arms and wait. It has to be her choice.
“What if I do something wrong?” she whispers.
“Wrong how?”
She shrugs and glances away before looking back at me. “This was your home… before. Your daughter feared I was trying to take over or something. What if she’s right?”
“You wouldn’t.” I’m quick and confident with my words.
“I know that, but will she? What if we do—” She flips her hand around, as if that shows me what she thinks we’re going to do. “—something, and you remember and feel the same way?”
I lick my lips and let my hands fall. She’s right. And I hate it. I don’t know how I’ll feel if I remember. But I know that I’ll regret every moment of her feeling less-than if I don’t stop her from overthinking soon.
“Come here.” There’s more command in my voice, and she obeys. Hesitantly, but she does, sliding across the couch till I can touch her, and then I pull her on my lap.
I don’t hesitate to put my lips against hers and soak in the moment we share. My lipsbreak hers apart, and my tongue sweeps in for a taste. I cradle her head in my palm, and she moans softly as she sinks a bit into me.
When I release her, I push her hair behind her ear but keep my hand there as I look at her. She’s the most beautiful woman ever. Special K was beautiful too. I won’t deny that. I’ve seen the pictures of us in that back room and understand how I could have fallen easily if I went off looks alone. But from what I’ve heard, she was a badass woman in her own right.
A part of me hates that I don’t remember her, because she sounds like a hell of a woman. But another part, the part that’s falling quickly for the woman before me, is glad that I can separate my feelings. That memory loss was what I needed to find another woman just as amazing as the one the others talk about.
I know the club doesn’t like Diana. They might be okay with her as my nurse, but something more? That will take time. Especially if they think it’ll hurt Ruby. She mightfeel like she’s on the outside, but the club has dropped everything for her. And it has nothing to do with me.
I used to see the club as a world for men. The protection extends to family, yes, but it still holds closer for a brother. But now? I’m not sure if it’s because of the head wound or Diana or even what Ruby said to me, but it’s not all black-and-white anymore. The idea of club life being for brothers only doesn’t sit right with me now. Family, people we find and bring in, they’re club too. They might not know everything at the moment, but maybe they should. If they’re trusted enough to be an old lady or someone special, why should we keep them in the dark?
I don’t run the club anymore. Not even sure if I have any status beyond just “the old man with a brain issue.” But if I do, I’d like to think I could make a change. At least voice it. I think I recall Mama Bear saying something and us making a change with the vamps about when they could be around. I’m a bit fuzzy on all of it, but if we can make it so vamps aren’t around all the time, then we can make sure others are included more. At the very least, I can bring it to the table.
After everything settles down. And after I convince Babygirl that I want her here. In my house, in my life, and in my arms.
“I’m not asking for a commitment.” Her eyes go wide at my words, and I shake my head before her damn brain can get in her way again. “Not saying I don’t want one. What I’m saying is, I’m not expecting you to fully committo me.” I pull her hair a bit to bring her eyes steady with mine. “But I’m committed to whatever you want. I can’t promise I won’t remember. Or that I’ll react one way or not if I do. What Icansay is that I’m willing to give this a try if you are.”
She bites her lip but says nothing. I adjust her on my lap as I sit up more.
“I can also tell you that there are parts of this house that feel off. Parts that I know must be because of her and the life before with her. I might not recall her, but I remember this place, and I remember rooms I avoided. Before any of this, there were places I didn’t go, and I might have looked in on them now, just to check if I feel something, but all I feel is weird. Just off. I can’t explain it.”
She nods, and I use my other hand to brush the hair back from the other side of her face before moving down to her waist to squeeze a bit. More because I like the feel of it than needing to feel reassured that she’s listening to me.
“The room to the back.” I nod to the side so she can look down the hall at the closed door. “That was our room. Half craft, half bedroom. It’s the biggest, so it makes sense. But I don’t sleep there.”
She turns her head back to me.
“Been sleeping upstairs in another room I’ve claimed as my own for a while. And no one has been in there but me. This couch? The kitchen? There was a leak in the pipes a few years back. Had to redo the kitchen completely and buy most of what you see. Not too much damage, but it was time to update things. Things that I got well before you. Things I had after her, before you, and only I have used. So when I tell you to relax, I want you to. You’re in my home. A home that has some skeletons in the closets, but it’s nothing we can’t deal with. Together.”
She sniffs, rubs her nose, and blinks away the tears that have crested her eyes. “How many dead bodies are we talking about? I can only handle three or four at a time.”
Her wit has me barking out a laugh in surprise, which pulls a watery giggle out of her. And then she calms and smiles.
“I’m sorry.”
