“Was she the reason for the shooting?” It’s an obvious yes, but he does me the courtesy of nodding.
Now it’s my turn to look away, my jaw ticking as I clench it closed.
“Funny. You all want me to remember, but when it comes to something happening to her, you keep it to yourselves.”
He takes a step toward me, voice lower, as if the walls might hear. “Look, man, this shit is crazy. You lose your memory. Ruby gets taken. We’ve got no clue how to help with either. Casper is doing what he can. Half the damn club is ready to go hunting without a clue where they should go, and the other half is still coming to terms with you walking around and not caring like a father should.”
He holds up a hand before I can go off on him. “I get it. We all get it. You lost your memory, and that makes it hard for you to process your feelings on this. The club ain’t keeping shit from you. You knew she was gone. We just didn’t want to add to the guilt about the shooting. Hell, the club is placing that blame on all of us anyhow.”
“Why?”
He winces. “Casper told her to go back and play nice after she said she was done with you. If we didn’t tell her to go, she might still be here and not God knows where.”
“It was the club that had her pissed when she came in and started yelling at Diana for no reason? Ruby was mad at me and you all, and Diana was the victim for being there at the wrong moment.”
“Victim?” He gives me a skeptical look.
“Yeah, victim. She did nothing but care for me as a patient. No lines were crossed.”
“Maybe not, but she had eyes for you. You have to know that.”
I don’t deny it.
“And you had eyes for her.” He says that last part softer, and I still don’t deny it. “We all saw what was happening. No one stopped it. Maybe we should have. Maybe not. But it’s done. Ruby’s missing, and you’re dating.”
“Those two things aren’t connected.”
“Jesus, I know that. You don’t think I do? Why do you think I’m in here checking inventory and not out there gossiping? You have a life. Ruby has a life, hopefully. This is just all fucked up. And till she comes home, whichever way that is, all I’m saying is to maybe be careful.”
“Careful.” I say the word slowly, trying to understand it and the warning behind it.
“Yeah, careful. There’s a lot of people out there who might be okay with what I saw now that I’ve talked to you and see it from your point of view. But others might feel like you’re betraying Ruby somehow. Forget Special K for a second. The club is focused on Ruby. What does it say that her own dad isn’t?”
I rub one hand through my hair and take a swig of my beer with the other.
“Shit.”
“Yeah, man. Shit.”
This just got a hell of a lot more complicated. I don’t know what I was thinking when I first heard Ruby was gone.Maybe that she ran away or something. I don’t know. Maybe I really didn’t care to find out more.
Was I mad at her for what she said to Diana? Was I pissed at the way she kept saying shit to me too? Calling me all sorts of things because she was dealing with her own grief and anger that I forgot not only her, but her mother too? I bet she and I had a bond since we were all each other had for so many years. She probably also felt some relief seeing that I would never forget her mom. And now I have.
And now here I am, dating someone else. Her biggest fear coming to reality.
Even if none of this started till after Ruby was taken, General’s right. I’ve had my eyes on Babygirl since I opened them.
“Now what?” I’m asking myself more than him.
He leans against the same counter and shrugs. “She worth it?”
I drain my beer in one gulp before tossing the bottle into the trash can on the other side of the room.
“Yup.”
“Then I think you have your answer.”
Chapter 9 - Diana
