I feel her shake her head but appreciate it more that she speaks up. “No.”
“Hold on to me. Lean into the bike, not the opposite way like you would on a wakeboard.”
“Never done that either.”
“I’ll remember that for next time.”
I start the bike, and because I’m feeling a bit extra, I rev it. As expected, she squeals and wraps her arms around me tight.
“Perfect. Hang on to me just like that.”
I feel the nod again, but no words come out of her.
“Oh, and Diana?” I turn my head just enough to see a bit of her profile. “Nothing’s going to scare me off.”
I take off into the street before she can say anything back.
I drive around for longer than necessary, but I can’t find it in me to stop. Having her on my bike feels right. It’s different from having just me on it.
I know this is new, something I haven’t done in a while. It feels foreign, not wrong like some of the rest of the stuff I do. And foreign? That’s good. I like experiencing new things without the guilt. Half of everything is still new for me. I remember, but I don’t remember.
It’s frustrating. More than frustrating. It pisses me off. Just like the idea of it is now as I take a corner faster than I should with her on the back of the bike. Especially with it being her first time.
Her holding me tighter as she squeals with delight grounds me, though. And when she rubs her hand up and down my stomach, just a little, it’s calming.
I get off the impromptu detour and head to the small restaurant I have planned for us. It’s not fancy, but I remember liking the food. It also has just about everything, so there’s no way I can get this wrong with her.
And… it’s out of town a bit. I’m not avoiding the club, but I just want to enjoy Diana a little without the stress of having to worry about the club gossip.
And clubs gossip. A lot. We might pretend we don’t, but we can be worse than women sometimes.
I back the bike into the parking spot,and when she doesn’t let go right away, I enjoy it a bit more than I should before I cave and let her know it’s okay to get off.
“You first, babe.”
She uses me to push her weight up and over, and I watch her the entire time, which is good since I have to reach out and grab her hand so she doesn’t trip on the curb.
“I got you,” I say. And then I don’t let go till I get off the bike myself. “Legs a bit wobbly?”
“You can say that,” she mumbles as I take off her helmet and then mine, securing them in my saddlebag before I grab her hand again.
Just like with her arms around me while we rode, I like the feeling of her hand in mine. I’m not questioning it; I’m just living in the moment. I got a second chance at life, and I’m taking it. Every part of it.
Just for tonight. Tomorrow I can feel guilty for things I don’t understand. But this moment right here, this is for me. Me and her.
The hostess seats us, and thankfully it’s in a dark corner. Not that I’m embarrassed to be with Diana, not at all. I just like the intimacy of it. A cozy corner for me and her with no distractions to look at but each other.
“I didn’t know this place was here,” she says to me but smiles at the hostess, who puts the menu down in front of her after I hold the chair out for her.
“I discovered it a few years back. Don’t remember all of it, but I know I like it.”
“Well, if it’s good enough to lead to a lasting memory, then it’s good enough for me.”
We order quickly enough, and then there comes the moment during the meal that’s just awkward silence. Or it would be if I didn’t have a million questions and want to know everything about the woman in front of me.
“You always wanted to be a nurse?” I asked.
“No. I was going to school to be a teacher, actually, like my mom.”
