“I want to go with you.”
“You need to go with Mater.”
“I don’t want to go with people who judge you badly when they don’t even know what you’re doing.”
Felix bent in half, lowering his voice. “They know me, Oppia. I’ve told them everything. But I still cannot go in, for the good of all the others who only know me by what I do, and not why I do it.”
“It isn’t fair.”
“Few things are.”
“Come, Oppia,” Mater called holding out a hand. “We will be late.”
“Go on,” he urged. “Do not let your disappointment in people sour your worship of God.” His words, meant for her, needled his own heart as he straightened. He pushed the feeling away. His situation with Pater was different. His first responsibility was to his family, which God had given him. If he didn’t work at the ludus, they’d all starve. For themoment, being estranged from the church was a necessary sacrifice. Wasn’t it?
He made the mistake of meeting the side-eyed glance of a passing man who curled his lip before turning into the church. Felix nudged Oppia toward Mater. He could endure the slight, but he wished it didn’t mean his sisters were friendless and his mater had to seek women out for greetings rather than be sought out herself. Oppia cast one last mournful look over her shoulder as she dragged her feet after Mater and the older girls. He wished he could blame the stiffness on his pater’s actions and absence, but this was his own doing.
He sighed and turned away as the call to worship began with a song, echoing through the portico and courtyard, wrapping around Felix with a tug of longing.
Shepherd of tender youth, guiding in love and truth
Through devious ways; Christ our triumphant King,
We come Your name to sing, and here our children bring
To join Your praise.
There was nothing more moving than to join others in worship, knowing that around the empire, thousands of others were doing the same. He waited a moment longer, letting the music fill him, call to the surface an ache in his chest. But he kept his feet anchored in the street until the doors closed, muffling the song.
The sun had barely begun to rise, creasing the purple-gray sky with bars of sunlight. Somewhere in a courtyard, a rooster crowed. Then crowed again. And again.
A pot clattered. Someone shouted. And just like that, Rome was awake.
More and more people trickled into the streets, some heading to the various churches that had sprung up in the freedom of the last century, others heading to their labors. He could do neither and headed towardthe nearest public garden that might provide a bit of solace while he waited for Mater and the girls. He glanced over his shoulder as he turned a corner, catching a glimpse of a man who stooped to retie his sandal. Was it just his imagination, or had he seen him before?
Felix twisted down a side street made of worn stairs spanning the closeness between buildings. Towering walls crowded out the sky high above his head and set his footsteps echoing in his ears. Near the end of the alley, a man stepped out of a doorway, turning and descending the steps toward him. Felix made eye contact and gave a slight nod of acknowledgment as he passed, which the stranger returned, along with a fist to his gut.
Pain exploded through his abdomen as he swung around to face the man, throwing up his forearm to block a second blow to his head. His pulse leaped, sending a rush of energy to his limbs. He stumbled down a stair, narrowly avoiding a fist to his kidneys, and landed two hits of his own before the stranger blocked the next one aimed for his head. The man sent a lightning jab to Felix’s jaw. His head snapped back, slamming into the stone wall behind him. Blackness and stars shot through the alley.
He wasn’t weak. One didn’t wrestle fighters onto operating tables without having the bulk and muscle to do it. Even so, he felt his knees give.
“I don’t have anything for you.” His one consolation.
Felix was answered by a grunt and the smack of fist on flesh. He winced at the sound, but no pain accompanied it. Something thudded nearby. He shook his head to clear his wavering vision as a hand gripped his shoulder.
“You well?”
Felix straightened, blinking a giant of a man into view. The giant stood over the unconscious man draped down the steps, the concern in his expression aimed toward Felix.
He pressed a palm against the back of his throbbing head. “Yes. Thank you.”
“Attacking in broad daylight?” The giant shook his head and stooped, wrapping a hand around the thief’s neck. “Thieves used to have more respect than that.”
Alarm shooting through him, Felix jerked forward to stop the giant from murdering the man. “There’s no need to—”
But the giant only turned his wrist, pressing two fingers beneath the thief’s jaw, to check for a pulse. He looked up. “Shall we deliver him to an Urban Guard?”
Felix let out a breath, then shook his head. “A lot of good that’ll do. The Urbans are likelier to feed and congratulate him than prosecute. This whole city is on the verge of collapse since the emperor left.”
