Nicholas isn’t sure he understands how fucking bad he needed to hear that. There was a time in his life where a lavish party like this was all he knew. Where he thought it was whathe enjoyed. A time where he would’ve finished this night by making a scene before finding someone to bring home and fuck, desperately trying to fill the emptiness. There’s no rage left, no anger or despondency to try and drown out with sex or liquor.
“I’m ready to go, princess.”
Slipping his hand into Nicholas’s, Andrew nods. “Me too. I want a shower.”
“Can I wash you?” Nicholas asks, eager to worship this man. To touch him. To lavish him in attention and praise.
“Hmm, I’ll have to think about it. There’s so many offers.”
He’s clearly teasing but Nicholas’s possessive nature rears its ugly head all the same, the very idea of someone else touching what’s his unthinkable.
“No,” Nicki growls, “mine.”
Andrew laughs, lifting their joined hands and kissing the back of Nicholas’s. “Only yours, Nicki.”
Nicki nods, something settling in him as they leave the party, leaving his father and this old life behind. He doesn’t turn to look one last time before they leave, doesn’t have the hollow feeling he’s always had after being in his parents’ presence. In its place is something fiercely bright and beautiful, keeping that darkness at bay—his princess.
22ANDREW
“What didyou think of New York?” Nicki asks.
It’s the first thing he’s said to Andrew since they left. After departing the party, something heavy settled around Nicki, and though he’d held Andrew’s hand and sat close in the car ride back to their hotel, he'd been noticeably closed off otherwise. It wasn’t until they made it into their suite, the door locked behind them that he finally opened up.
Given how little Nicki talked about his parents before they came here, despite orchestrating an entire fake boyfriend situation for this one night, he’d assumed their relationship must be complicated. Even with those suspicions, he’d been unprepared for the reality of their callousness and emotional abuse. If that was what he witnessed in a few hours time in public, he can’t imagine what reality Nicki lived growing up.
Barnabas Whitmore is a self-centered and cruel man who found nothing but flaws in his only son. It twisted Andrew’s insides up to witness, even more-so to think about how that must’ve influenced Nicki’s desires to forge their original deal.
No wonder Nicki didn’t trust people or want to need them. No wonder he was so damn starved for intimacy and affection. No wonder he was perpetually surprised when Andrew likedthe real him and not the rich, celebrity version he pretended to be for sponsors and the league. Nicki had been raised as a commodity, a product to be used and sold, and then when his parents found no use for him, devalued.
If Andrew thinks about it for more than a few seconds, it makes him viscerally ill. His Nicki with his beautiful, thorny outside. His Nicki, who is protective and loyal and has never once lied to Andrew. His Nicki, who sometimes wants to be the little spoon, who craves being held and touched, who wants to be loved.
“If you need to think this long, I’m going to assume you hate it,” Nicki says.
“New York is interesting,” Andrew offers, realizing he took too long to reply.
“That’s code for you hate it.”
“No, it's—okay, yeah.” Andrew laughs, lowering himself onto the end of the bed. Nicki follows suit, his side all but plastered to Andrew as if he can’t bear to be separated by even an inch of space. “It’s just a little much. It’s very crowded and loud and kind of overstimulating.”
“I’m sorry for bringing you here. That was an asshole move. You don’t deserve to be used like this.”
“We had a deal, Nicki. I promised you I’d come. I’ll come anywhere you ask me to.”
“Don’t do that,” Nicki says, shaking his head. “Don’t do shit for other people.”
“For you? Always.”
“No.”
“Yes,” Andrew challenges, sliding his hand down Nicki’s leg to rest on his knee. He gives it a squeeze. “This is what being partners means. It means we show up for each other when things are hard, not just when they’re easy. It means we’re there for each other to lean on, to find sanctuary in. I want to be yoursanctuary, Nicki. This thing between us can’t just be you taking care of me. I like it, but…but you have to let me take care of you, too.”
“I don’t deserve it.”
“That’s bullshit,” Andrew challenges. “And even if it wasn’t, which it is, then too bad.”
“Too bad?” Nicki repeats, a quirk in his lips.
“Yeah, too bad.” Andrew moves without second guessing himself, sensing what Nicki needs, even if he hasn’t yet realized or acknowledged it. He straddles Nicki’s lap, twining his arms around his neck. “You are mine, Nicki. I get to protect you, support you, love you, even when you don’t think you deserve it. It’s not my job, it’s my privilege.”
