If I don’t get that blow job lesson tonight, I’m not sure I’ll survive. This man deserves to be savored. I’m just the gal for the job, and I’m beyond ready.
In fact, I painted my nails red for the occasion. Oddly, he hasn’t commented on them yet. Too anxious about our double date with Sawyer and his wife.
Reed nervously wipes his palms down his torso and tugs at his collar. “Is this okay?”
“For dinner? No. For me to strip off you? Absolutely.”
Hisfrownydimples pop into place as he flicks his gaze from me to his chest. “No?”
I rise from the couch and saunter to him. “Dimples, you look impeccable. Sexy and debonair.” I flutter my lashes and gently pull him to me by his tie. “But too stuffy. It’s a beachy restaurant. Just wear jeans like me.”
“I want to make a good impression.”
Fiddling with his tie, I get a tad lost in his mahogany irises. The gold flecks shimmer like a smattering of pixie dust, which I’ll never tell him because of how juvenile it sounds.
Sighing, I say, “You always make a good impression. And the clothes have nothing to do with it. Trust me. He’s gonna love you for the man you are. Not what you look like. Besides, he’s already met you.”
“Yeah, but this is different.”
I blink thrice at him, telegraphing my disagreement.
The skin at his temples creases. “You sure?”
I give him a coy smirk. “Aren’t you the one who told me I’m more than my body?”
“Point made.” He kisses my forehead. “I’ll change.”
“Wear something motorcycle-friendly,” I challenge while drooling over his retreating backside.
He halts abruptly in the bedroom doorway, turning on his heel. His brows are arched so high his forehead is scrunched to half its normal height. “What?”
My eyes catch on his neck, where he's loosening his tie and unbuttoning his shirt. He’s killing me.
I shrug, nibbling my lip absentmindedly. “It’s a nice night for a bike ride.”
Reaching over his head, he braces his hands on the door trim and leans forward in a classic book boyfriend pose.
Yep, he’s trying to murder me. Death by horniness.
“Who are you? Where did this confidence come from? I love seeing this side of you.”
“As trite as it may sound, surviving that horrible ordeal taught me a lot about myself.I wasted too many years as a prisoner of fear, regret, and grief. Listening to what Kenzie did to me was the tipping point. For our entire BS friendship, I sacrificed the things that mattered to me and did anythingshewanted. Why? Because I was scared to lose her. Look where that got me.”
Smile gone, Reed drifts toward the living room.
Out of nowhere, powerful emotions erupt out of me. As if I’m purging them from my soul through my words. “Between Kenzie’s constant put-downs, the way my parents treated me after Zara died, and my own guilt, it all went wrong in my head and heart.I became convinced my life wasn’t worthy of happiness. ThatIwasn’t worthy.”
My confession halts his steps. He places his palm on his chest, as if my words echo his pain. “Oh, baby. Believe me. You are so damn worthy.”
“When my sister died, I stopped living. I felt broken. Irreparable and irredeemable. Broken people don’t think they deserve to experience a life of peace and wonder. Of fun, whimsy, and love.” I blink away the brewing tears so I can get this out before I burst. “I should have honored Zara by living a life she’d have loved to witness. My life list should fill ten journals, with more than birds. I mean, with all the good things. It doesn’t even fill one. Because all I did was exist in a fog of darkness. I might have looked happy, but I was shattered to my core.”
My hand clenches into a fist, and I shake my head. “No more. I choose to be whole. I didn’t die on that damn cliff. It’s time I start acting like it.”
His mouth parts for a quiet gasp before his sorrowful expression melts into one of reverence. A sliver of a grin traces his lips until it brightens his entire face.
“Bring on the dang bike. I’m ready.” I gesture with my stiff hands toward the window. “For goodness sake,I was just looking outside, sans heart palpitations. A motorcycle is nothing by comparison. You said it’s your joy. And I want to experience that with you. I want to experienceeverythingwith you.”
His adoring smile turns heated. He eats up the carpet, dashing to me with purpose.
