“Nooo, we’re almost toyourhome.”Big sob. “My homewill soon be in a tree with the birds.”Three more sobs.“That’s all I’ll be able to afford once they fire me.”Two sniffles and another sob.“And the branches won’t hold my big ass.”Wailing.
I’d like to tell her they won’t fire her. But they totally will. Instead, I offer what I can. “First of all, your ass is a work of art, and any branch would be lucky to have you on it. And second, ditch the treehouse and move in with me.”
Judging by her face, that was the wrong thing to say.
“We’ve only been together for a day and a half, Reed!” She buries her face in her palms. “Mawh whee shi ah poo hi.”
Okay, that last part isn’t what she said. It’s what it sounded like with her hands muffling her voice.
I get her point, though. Clearly, she’s concerned about what others would think about moving in with me so soon. Or maybe she’s worried this won’t last. I’ve got my work cut out for me to change her mind on both of those fronts.
Lucky for us, I’m fantastic at setting and reaching goals.
She doesn’t even know we’re in the garage until I park and turn off the car. Her head pops up and swivels to take in our location. “Oh. We’re here.” After quickly wiping her face, she says, “Maybe the condo isn’t too high for me after all.”
I run back the jumble of words she wailed into her hands. I bet it was something about my place being up too high for her to live in.Huh. Little does she know I’d sell it tomorrow and get a house or ground-floor unit if that’s what she needed to feel more comfortable.
“Let’s go inside, cookie. You’ll feel better after a nice, warm bath.”
She sniffles and faintly smiles. “Okay. That sounds good.”
Then I’ll lay her on my bed, tell her she’s a good girl, and eat her for dessert.
I got this boyfriend thing down pat.
FORTY-FOUR
Sweet, sweet fantasy, baby
LILA
Contrary to popular belief,cuckoo birds aren’t silly little things that live a life of whimsy and mild hysteria. Most cuckoo species are parasitic. Not the blood-sucking type. They’rebroodparasites, which means they lay their eggs in nests of other birds, stashing them in there and hoping nobody notices. That way, they don’t have the burden of raising their young.
Some will lay their eggs in multiple nests to increase the chance of their species continuing. I guess that’s adivide and thriveapproach, as opposed to divide and conquer.
Like many humans, cuckoos live by selfishly asking, why do the heavy lifting yourself when you can make someone else do it?
Anyhow.
As I retrieve jammies from my overnight bag, I realize I don’t know who the bigger cuckoo is—Kenzie or me?
Kenzie has depended on me for years, using my devotion to our friendship to get me to do her dirty work. Often literally.
I clean the apartment, do the grocery shopping, unload the dishwasher, take out the trash, and even do her laundry if she leaves it piled up for too long. I pay the bills, call the handyman when something needs repair, and remind her to scheduledoctor appointments. For goodness sake, if it weren’t for me, she’d still be using the same toothbrush she had when we were kids.
And I could go on.
I’m just as bad, though. Only I’m an emotional clinger.
From the day we met, I revered Kenzie as my missing piece. I latched onto her, holding on with all my might. All so I would never have to feel alone.
For years, I’ve planned my life around her, always tiptoeing around her moods so as to not upset her and sacrificing my own needs in the process. And I’vegleefullylet her fight my battles since the first day we met on the zoo field trip.
Heck, I don’t even watch television without her. She made me wait a month before we finally watched theGame of Thronesfinale. By then, I already knew it was a total disappointment thanks to internet spoilers.
Our co-dependency is glaringly obvious at this point. One day of not speaking has her blowing up phones all over town. I caused that.
I built a relationship with her that’s so clingy I can’t take a day to myself without her knowing something is wrong. Because she knows I never put anything else above her. Least of all, my own happiness.
