“Dial it back a little. Relax.”
Thanks, Agent Dad, also known as my conscience.
Dana takes a bite of what looks like a homemade Italian pasta salad. With her figure, she can handle the carbs.
She points her empty fork in my direction. “Go ahead and talk. I’ll listen.”
After releasing a calming breath, I flash what I hope looks like a grateful expression instead of a monstrously nervous one. In other words, I fake it.
I lean forward and whisper. “Actually, it’s this thing with my ex.”
She responds by emulating my body posture and volume. “What did he do?”
Reed comes through my earpiece. “She knows you dated Silas. Work his name in so we can see how she responds.”
Out of habit, I answer Reed.Out loud. “Okay.”
Crud.
I try to recover instantly, feigning I was addressing her. Thankfully, it was an innocuous phrase.
“So here’s the thing. We didn’t date for long. And the breakup wasn’t good.” The more I talk, the more natural my voice sounds. Probably because it’s the truth. “He ended up having a dark side. I’m still reeling from how it came out of nowhere. I keep thinking I should have seen it coming, you know?”
“Dark side?” Dana lowers her chin to her chest and stares at me from under her brow. “Did he get violent?”
Before I answer, I nibble my lip and feign being conflicted about what I’m about to share. “Well...”
She reaches her empty hand across the table toward me. “It’s okay. You don’t have to tell me. But if you need to get it out, I’m here. I just want to make sure you’re safe.”
Her vibe is motherly and feels genuine, making it easier to open up to her.
“He was more threatening than violent. And yet his threats were violent. That might not make sense.” I pause, shaking my head despondently. “For almost two months, I’ve been absolutely terrified of Silas.” My voice cracks as I admit, “I feel like he’s watching me, waiting for the right moment to attack. It’s as if he’s lingering in every dark shadow. Behind every bush. Under the bed. In the closet. I can’t escape him.”
The tears obscuring my vision aren’t an act. And nothing I said was untrue.
I dab my eyes with my napkin and muster the courage to look at Dana. Without speaking, she rises from her seat and glides around the table. She takes the seat directly beside me, scooting close to my side. A comforting arm is thrown over my shoulders.
And this virtual stranger comforts me.
A coworker who has barely spoken ten words to me in the years I’ve worked here is lending me her solace. Perhaps there’s hope for women supporting women in this world after all.
Instead of making my tears subside, her kindness spurs a few more.
“Easy, cookie,” Reed soothes. “You’re okay.”
Shoot. I almost forgot about the prying eyes and ears. It snaps me out of the depression fog.
My spine stiffens, and I sniffle back the emotion. “Sorry. Please don’t tell anyone what I said about him.”
After removing her arm, Dana shifts in her seat and takes my hand. “Sweetie, you obviously needed to get that out. It sounds so scary. You shouldn’t be going through that on your own. Trust me, I know how—” She snaps her lips closed, making a popping sound.
Agent Andrews addresses me this time. “Get her to continue her sentence, Lila.”
Pulsing our joined hands, I do as instructed. “What? You know how it feels?” I infuse some hope in my expression to encourage her to finish her thought.
Nothing.
I try again, this time being more direct. “Have you been in my shoes? Is that what you were gonna say?”
