Reed’s grunts and moans are music to my ears. He quivers under me, his own release bursting free as I continue writhing, soaking up everything he has to give.
I wish I could find the words to praise him the way he does me, but I’m too gone with my own rapture as the aftershocks work their way through my body.
Once we’re both spent, I release his arms and still my hips. I rest my cheek on his chest, placing my ear over the drumbeat of his heart.
Myheart.
Reed surrounds me with those massive arms, making me feel small, despite knowing I’m not. And for the first time, that thought doesn’t bother me so much.
I finally realize it’s possible that Reed loves me, whether I’m fat or thin. Dominant or submissive. Sweet or sassy.
He lovesme. The whole person, broken parts and all.
And wildly, he still loves me even after I confessed to what Silas made me do.
Ugh. Why did I have to think about that vile man?
His name metaphorically turns on a vacuum inside my chest, sucking all my serenity away.
Reality bites.
Not only do I have to face Silas again, but I’ll have to do it while wearing a wire. If he finds it on me or suspects I’m working with the FBI, will I end up like that murder victim that makes Reed’s eyes glaze over?
If there ever was a time to channel that barnacle goose, this is it.
THIRTY-NINE
Stiff dickish tendencies
REED
I pulsemy hand around Lila’s, gazing at her with a mix of affection and pride. “I’ll be with you the whole time.”
“I’m fine.” She blinks three times and purges a quaking breath. “If you need to leave me alone in there, just send in Agent Dad.Err...?Agent Andrews.”
My eye twitches. “Pleasetell me you don’t have daddy issues involving my partner.”
She shrugs, our joined hands lifting with the movement. “I wish I could, but you said it’s a felony to lie to a federal officer.”
We share a brief laugh before I release her hand to open the building door. While I follow entry procedures for bringing a CI inside, I keep one eye on her. Her focus seems locked on the FBI seal and the bold words printed below it.
Fidelity - Bravery - Integrity.
I know what comes to my mind when I look at the seal, but I have no clue what’s running through her head. If she’s panicking, she’s doing a damn fine job of concealing it. Aside from changing her clothes four times when we stopped by her apartment, she’s shown minimal signs of nervousness.
Fortunately, Kenzie wasn’t home, which saved us the additional stress. We’ve got enough on our plates today without that nightmare. I keep pressing it to the bottom of my action list.
Lila seems equally grateful to ignore the Kenzie drama a little longer. We were one step out of her apartment when she suggested she slink back in and pack an overnight bag. Just in case.
She pretended her motivations were rooted in concern for her safety. And maybe they were. They were also classic avoidance, this time without the nonsense phrases.
We can’t avoid Kenzie forever, and given the ordeal she’s been through, I need to talk to her. Not only as a big brother, but as an agent. Although I don’t foresee needing her as a CI, we will need her account of what happened when she was taken.
Kenzie can wait a bit longer. We can only handle one thing at a time.
Getting Lila settled is my priority. And that starts now.
After we move through the building, heading toward my office, she rolls her lip into an unimpressed pout.“This is where you work, huh? Not what I expected.”
