Determined to impersonate an adult, I unlock my phone.
Kenzie:
What the fuck is happening? Reed called and ordered me to stay inside with the doors and windows locked. Are you still with him? He wouldn’t explain. Tell me where you are, and I’ll come pick you up.
How about no?
“Maybe the other one will be easier to handle,” whispers theMichelangelo of Delusion.
With trembling hands, I swipe to the other unopened text.
Silas:
Tonight instead. Midnight. Same place.
Let me check something.
Ah, nope.A midnight meeting in an abandoned parking lot with a man involved in a gory murder isn’t on my bingo card. I’ll have to decline.
My imagination concocts a carousel of murder scene images. Each of them progressively more horrific. Reed, an experienced FBI agent, called itthe stuff of nightmares.
And those monsters had Kenzie. Although I’m livid over what she did, I still love her.
Thankfully, she wasn’t sexually assaulted, and her physical injuries have healed. But the only friend I’ve had for more than a fleeting moment—the person I love like a sister—was at risk of death because I was dumb enough to get involved with Silas.
The mountain of guilt on top of me is eroded by her betrayal. I can’t sort out these emotions, let alone manage them. My chest constricts like a thick band cinching around me. Every time I think of her, it tightens.
I can’t deal. It’s all too much for one broken woman to handle.
Reed’s confessions.
Kenzie’s betrayal.
The crimes I committed to save her.
The grave danger.
Reed’s secrets I uncovered in mytotally harmlessexploration.
It’s all propelling me to the end of my rope.
Too bad I don’t have a rope. I have a clown handkerchief string. Right when I think I’ve reached the end, another one appears.
Forever until I die.
With my arms wrapped around my knees, I involuntarily rock myself. I’m a mess.
If Reed gets home and sees me like this, he’ll be forced to lock me up for one of those involuntary holds.
Aww, crud. That reminds me of something else to spiral over.
Reed will be back eventually. While I’d love nothing more than to wrap my terrified body around him for eternity, that’s impossible. Instead, he’s gonna pry the truth out of me.
Then we’ll beover.Again. Heart in shambles, I’ll be incarcerated. Silas probably has a baddie on his payroll namedManiac Muffy,who will shankme in prison.
Springing off the couch, I pace the living room like I’m way behind on a step challenge.
After twenty minutes, I give up and flop onto the couch, sucking wind. Turns out, impersonating a speed walker doesn’t offer much anxiety relief when you’re at rock bottom.
