“What happened to us yesterday is scary, but you aren’t wrong or broken.” Carlos squeezed her hand gently. “I think everyone has a time in their life when they believe that about themselves. You know who you are in Christ.”
She nodded. “But I can’t ignore the human part of me and just be spiritual, happy, and peaceful. I need something todo. I need a reason to go out and get stuff done.”
“You need a purpose. Like finding people, or bringing justice to the world.” He squeezed her hand. “It’s not so abnormal to not find your ‘thing’ until later in life.”
Eliana squeezed back, then let go because it was weird to still be connected. She sat back in the couch seat and let the silence hang between them for a moment. She did need the peace and the reassurance. The knowledge of who she was would always beimportant—but a foundation without a structure on it was just a slab of concrete. She needed to construct the building that was her life—but didn’t know where to start.
“Sorry I was whining,” she said.
Carlos shook his head. “I want to know how it’s going. The frustrations and setbacks are part of it.” He took a breath like he was bracing to say what he needed to say. “I wanted things to be good with Bethany, so I ignored when it wasn’t.”
“I feel like all I have right now is the not-good stuff. The harder parts of life, where I’m trying to figure things out.” What she wanted was to find some good. Not dump all over him.
“Eventually, she got sick of me not ‘engaging’ with her and she left. Filed for divorce. The whole thing lasted two years. Which when you’re twenty is basically forever.”
For Eliana, his marriage had lasted for what seemed like forever, as well. Which meant she was still nursing her feelings for him. Always would. Carlos was a good guy—one of the best she’d ever met—but he’d made it abundantly clear that he didn’t feel that way about her. So they would remain friends, cousins, or siblings almost. If she was going to have him in her life forever, she couldn’t be hung up on him all that time.
She smiled. “Her loss.”
“We, uh, should do some research into the Reverence Sisters. See if we can figure out where they’ve gone.” He got up and disappeared for a second, and she tried not to read anything into that.
When he came back, Eliana decided to set aside all the angst she’d been feeling. Luci’s safety mattered more than getting an answer to what she was supposed to do with her life. Carlos hadn’t told her she made the wrong choice. He hadn’t told her she should leave the entire issue ofDominatusand how it connected to her life alone. That didn’t mean he thought she was doing the right thing, or that she would find what she waslooking for. But to her, it said that he at least supported her choice, which meant a lot.
He opened his laptop and clicked through screens. “Oh, good. I got a response.”
She wanted to sit forward and lean the outside of her arm against his. Doing so would shift this to something else entirely, so she stayed where she was. Right around when she got comfortable with him being in her life again, he’d meet someone and she’d have to let him go.
It would be much safer to keep this thing firmly in the friends and family zone and keep her heart from getting shredded again.
Who knew. Maybeshewould be the one who met someone.
He looked at her. “I asked the FBI what they had on the Reverence Sisters, just in case they have a file. They do. The ‘Mother’ is on a watchlist, but no one has been able to identify her.”
“Like they seriously have no idea who she is?”
He turned his laptop slightly, showing that all they had was a gray outline of a person where the photo should be in the square. “As yet unidentified. But the group has been in existence in Illinois for twenty years at least, and they only ever have twelve or so ‘Sisters.’”
“How do they know that?”
“It’s based on people who’ve gone missing. Interviews done, and witness testimony. Most of that came from Faith after she escaped.”
“Do they have any other locations—houses or camps—like the one we visited?”
He smiled slightly.
“What?”
“You are good at this, you know.”
She shook her head, clueless as to what he was talking about.
“Investigating.” He held his breath for a second. “Maybe your parents were wrong to keep you out of police work. Though I don’t think you should become a private investigator. You need more structure than that.”
Eliana sighed. “Let’s just find Luci. Then I’ll figure out what to do.” She wasn’t interested in rehashing the whole conversation.
He nodded. “They’ve flagged a house outside Oswego and have it under surveillance. With the investigation into the community we found, and what might’ve happened there, it’s possible the surveillance will be scaled back. But hopefully, we’ve given them something to move on.”
“Like the blood on that gown?” And what had happened to her and Carlos.
