And then, being beaten in jail, for God’s sake! Living under siege. All of the hatred directed at him and his family.
Sasha found herself in tears again. No wonder he was emotionally closed off and so serious all the time. She understood, too, why correct procedure was so important to him. If not for that detective, he might have gone to prison or been sentenced to death for a crime he hadn’t committed.
She dried off, dressed, made herself breakfast. On a whim, she googled his name. There they were—all those newspaper articles about Becca’s murder with Darius’ mugshot on the cover. He looked so young and terrified.
She became so preoccupied with reading the articles that she almost forgot her therapy appointment and arrived one minute late to find Esri waiting for her.
“How are you feeling?”
Sasha knew she was here to talk about her own situation, but she hadn’t been able to stop thinking about what Darius had told her, the details running through her mind again and again. “I got together with Detective Silva last night.”
“Got together? You mean you became intimate with him?”
Sasha nodded. “I can’t share what he told me, though if you googled his name you’d find it. But my heart breaks for him. He opened up completely, and… I think I’m in love with him.”
And that wasn’t atallwhat she’d come here to talk about.
Esri looked genuinely surprised. “How long have you known him?”
“I guess it will be a week tomorrow.”
“You’re in a vulnerable state right now. Do you think that might have an impact on your feelings toward him? He’s working to keep you safe, after all.”
“It could be, but he’s vulnerable, too. You were right about him. You said many law enforcement officers have seen awful things and that they shut off their emotions to cope. That’s exactly what happened to him. But last night, he opened up and shared a side of himself that I don’t think anyone has seen.”
“Sexual intimacy can make it easier for some men to share their feelings. But how areyoudoing? Any nightmares? Anxiety?”
Sasha told her about the anxiety that had troubled her yesterday and how the news that Darius had been shot had given her another panic attack.
Esri gaped at her. “Darius was shot? I saw the news report last night, but they didn’t ID the officer. How is he?”
Sasha told Esri what had happened and how she’d had trouble breathing again when she’d gotten the news. “Is that something I’m going to deal with all the time now?”
“I don’t know. I’m also not sure that we can blame your response yesterday on the attack. It’s hard to say. Hearing that someone you care about has been shot is its own trauma. The two are related, right? The same attacker?”
Sasha nodded. “Yes.”
“I think we should devote some time to that at your next session.”
They decided to do more EMDR focused on the hit-and-run and see how Sasha felt on Thursday.
Esri turned on the EMDR lights. “Are you comfortable?”
“Yes.”
“Just relax.”
Chapter18
Darius finishedhis meeting with Forensics and took his laptop and his folder of printouts to the Forest County Jail, where he was meeting Marcs. Doing his best to put last night out of his mind, he went over his notes with Marcs, bringing her up to speed.
“They found angry messages from Riggs to his friends after Sasha outed him, but within a month or so, she drops out of his conversations.”
“That doesn’t mean he wasn’t plotting something.”
“No, of course, it doesn’t.” Darius set the printout of Riggs’ phone activity aside and put Watts’ phone records in front of her. “Watts, on the other hand, never let up. He posted online about her and left harassing comments on her social media right up to the day of the attack.”
“ClimbrBro? That’s Watts?”
