Back at the hotel, people now recognized him. Some applauded as he passed. Others simply stared. One kid hurried over and asked for his autograph, handing Conrad a notepad which he signed, teeth grinding.
None of this is his fault.
“Thanks, man. You’ve been my hero since I was a kid.”
“Do you climb?” Kenzie asked the kid.
“A little. I’ve done some bouldering, mostly in the gym.”
“Keep it up.” Conrad took Kenzie’s hand and walked over to the elevator, turning his back on all of them.
Kenzie waited until the door to their room closed behind them to speak. “They don’t mean to get on your nerves. I agree with what you told Ms. Roberts. But to that kid in the lobby, you’re a hero because you do things he can only dream of doing.”
Conrad lifted his duffel onto the bed and started shoving things into it, anger like pressure in his chest. “You know who’s a hero? Hawke. He saves lives every day.”
“You’re a hero, too, not because you climb, but because of your service on the Team. You’ve helped to save lives, too, and no one pays you a penny for it. You’re the only one on the Team who can—”
“Stop. Just stop.” He closed his eyes, drew a breath. “I know you’re trying to help, but it’s not working.”
She stood across from him, her bag on the bed. “If this upsets you that much, maybe you should call Esri. She can help—”
“Are you saying you think I’m fucked up?”
She flinched. “No! But this and your nightmares—it’s tearing you apart. You haven’t had a full night’s sleep since doing that interview with Wendy. It breaks my heart to see you hurting so much. I know it’s hard for you to reach out but—”
“You don’t know a damned thing about it!” He shouted the words at the top of his lungs. “Do you climb?”
She jerked as if she’d been struck, her face going pale. Then she turned and walked into the bathroom, shutting the door behind her.
Fuck, fuck, fuck!
Crushed by a sense of guilt, his emotions threadbare, he stared after her. Hadn’t he promised her he would never deliberately hurt her?
You’re a fucking wreck, man, and she called you on it.
When she emerged from the bathroom, he could see she’d been crying.
Yeah, that’s your fault, asshole.
He should never have gotten involved with her. He’d known it was a bad idea, but he’d been too damned selfish, too damned broken to keep himself away from her. But he could fix that now.
He could end it before he trulydidhurt her.
* * *
Kenzie had lost him.
Harrison had shut down. He’d shut her out, barely speaking a word to her since leaving their hotel. He sat in the aisle seat beside her, eyes closed, but she knew from the hard set of his jaw that he wasn’t asleep. He simply didn’t want to interact with her.
If only she’d kept her mouth shut…
Would that have helped him?
No. Maybe. She didn’t know.
She couldn’t just sit by while he was suffering and say nothing. She’d said what she believed was true. He needed trauma therapy. If he wanted to end their relationship because she’d tried to help him, then maybe he was doing them both a favor.
That’s what she told herself, but that’s not how she felt.
