By the time he returned, she had laid a hiccuping Isabelle in her cradle, lit several candles, and stood looking down at the pool of blood on the puncheon floor.
She met his gaze, forced her mouth to form words. “Sand. Sand should soak it up, polish out the stain.”
“Bethie.” He said her name, nothing more. Then he pulled her close, rained kisses on her hair, her brow, her cheeks.
Her trembling began anew. Tears rolled, hot and salty, down her cheeks. She let his arms enfold her, clung to him with every ounce of her strength. “Nicholas! Oh, Nicholas!”
“You’ve nothing more to fear tonight, Bethie. I’ll bury Youreh along with his gear in the morning. Mattootuk fled into the forest. He’s injured, but I don’t know how gravely. He won’t return tonight.”
Her stomach churned. “I—I think I’m going to be... sick!”
She dashed past Nicholas, ran through the open doorway, sank to her knees on the ground. She felt Nicholas gather her hair, felt his reassuring hand on her shoulder as she lost her supper.
***
Bethie heard a baby fussing. It fussed a bit, then it began to cry in earnest.
She rolled over, tried to keep sleeping.
Her eyes flew open.Isabelle!
Bethie tossed back the covers, stepped from the bed, leapt back when she remembered what stained the floor near her feet. Then, careful not to step near the dark patch on the floorboards, she hurried to Belle’s cradle.
“I’m sorry, sweet. You must be hungry.” She lifted her daughter into her arms, sat in the rocking chair, bared a milk-sore breast.
Isabelle began to nurse greedily.
The shutters were latched over the parchment window, keeping the cabin dark. But daylight showed through the crack beneath the door. It was late—well past sunrise.
Bethie tried to clear her mind. She felt so groggy. But then none of them had gotten much rest last night.
It was strange to think that only a few hours ago, Nicholas had killed a man in this very room. Gunshots, her own screams, shouting—it seemed like a bad dream now. But the bloodstain on her floor proved it had been only too real.
She hadn’t meant to get sick, felt embarrassed by her own spinelessness. She had grown up on the frontier, had grown up with tales of violence and brutality. So why had the sight of a dead man, a pool of blood, the sound of fighting terrified her?
It was one thing to hear such tales, quite another to find herself in one.
Nicholas had stayed with her until she’d been strong enough to stand. While she had rocked Isabelle back to sleep, he had soaked up most of the blood with one of the Indians’ blankets and carried their belongings outside with plans to bury them after sunrise. Then he’d carried his own gear outside.
“Pull in the door string, Bethie. Try to get some sleep.”
“Where are you goin’?”
He’d met her gaze for one moment, his blue eyes bleak. “If he returns, he’ll expect me to be inside with you. I’ll keep watch out here.”
But she’d known there was more to it than that.
Things between them had changed. In the immediate aftermath of the attack, it had been easy to forget what Nicholas had admitted to doing. But when the dust had settled, the truth stood between them like a wall.
Bethie switched Belle to her other breast, tried to dispel the chill that had settled around her heart. She ought to have known that Nicholas was hiding some terrible secret. Hadn’t she sensed it in his silence, the way he never spoke about himself? Hadn’t she felt it in his anger? Hadn’t she seen it in the shadows that haunted his eyes? Aye, a part of her had known since the beginning. But she had allowed herself to ignore it.
And now?
She thought of how caring he’d been toward Isabelle, the kindnesses he had shown them both, the barely restrained passion of his kisses, his patience as he taught her to read. How could such a man have intentionally killed a woman and a child, his own child?
She would never know unless she asked him, gave him a chance to explain.
With a sudden sense of urgency, Bethie finished feeding Isabelle, changed the baby’s diaper cloth. Then she washed her hands and face, dressed for the day, and braided her hair. She picked up the bucket and was about to open the cabin door when a terrible possibility occurred to her.
