“Oh,” Carolina said, staring wistfully out toward the bay. “That sounds very good. Is that a lot of money these days? I really don’t know.”
“Yes! That’s exceptional. For an unknown artist to bring in such high prices... well done, Carolina.”
Carolina smiled at him weakly as he held the door open for her. She could easily pass through the door and enter the Jeep on her own, but for some reason, that didn’t feel right to Joseph. He looked over his shoulder and hoped that no one noticed him talking to thin air as he closed the door behind her.
Joseph slid behind the wheel and turned his engine over. The interior of the Jeep was freezing. Though it was January—a cold month, even in Florida—he couldn’t tell if the temperature in the cab was due to the weather, or the climate of his companion’s feelings. River was already leaning against the window with his eyes closed, breathing heavily. Carolina sat with her hands clasped firmly in her lap, her back rigid and her eyes fixed toward the horizon.
“What’s wrong?” he asked. “Was all this too overwhelming?”
Carolina softened her shoulders and turned to him. She smiled weakly and her entire being shuddered and flickered in a billowy sigh.
“No. It was lovely. I’ve missed the world and everyone in it,” she said. “Thank you for all of the kind things you said to the reporter and all of the patrons tonight about my family and I.”
“I meant it.”
Joseph instinctively reached out to give Carolina a reassuring pat. It was a reflex; something he used to do with Rachel on long car trips. He snapped his hand back like he had stuck his fingers in the fire when he realized what he was doing. Joseph didn’t know exactly what was happening with Carolina’s spiritual state, but he did know that touching her could be either impossible or downright dangerous. He returned his hand to the wheel instead and focused on the road ahead.
“So,” he said, clearing his throat. “Anyways, Emma said it would take a while for all of the funds to come through...”
“Miss Westing seems to be very taken with you, Joseph,” Carolina said, her silhouette suddenly glowing bright as a bulb. She continued to stare out the window as the lights of downtown St. Augustine sped by.
Joseph scowled and gazed over at Carolina.
“She’s working for me. For us,” he said, still confused. “She’s just trying to get a good commission.”
Carolina bristled and crossed her arms at her chest.
“I know when a woman is interested in someone romantically, Joseph,” she said, her voice flat and emotionless. “And Miss Westing is very interested inyou.”
Joseph exhaled deeply and shifted in his seat.
“Rachel hasn’t even been gone for a year,” he said, his eyes still trained on the road. “I’m not interested in anything like that.”
“You’re a nice man,” Carolina said, finally tearing her gaze away from the window. “I know you’re still healing, but it’s all right to have a new friend. You deserve a little happiness in life.”
“I don’t think I’ll ever truly be happy again,” Joseph said. “I don’t deserve to be.”
“Whatever do you mean?” Carolina asked, her voice softer now. “You’re such a good father to River. You’re a grump sometimes and you have atrocious taste in music. But you’re a good man.”
Joseph shook his head and sensed a lump threatening to form in his throat. He swallowed it down before it even had a chance. No. He couldn’t cry now. Not even in front of a ghost. The grief counselor had told him not to hold back when it came to his guilt over Rachel’s passing, but it was still too hard to talk about. Still, with Carolina looking on at him, and with River fast asleep in the back seat, Joseph realized it might be good to talk to someone he trusted about what had happened. Someone that was willing to listen without judgement.
“Rachel and I had a fight on the night she died,” he said, gripping the wheel a little tighter now. “It was over something stupid. I kept forgetting to close cabinet doors or something. It doesn’t matter. I was being an ass.”
Carolina sat still and silent, listening to him intently. Joseph looked over into her gleaming eyes and the words caught in his throat.
“We both exchanged words. She, um,” he said, faltering. “She went for a walk around the block to cool down. That’s when the accident happened. I never saw her again.”
Joseph felt an icy pressure at his shoulder. Carolina’s hand.
“So you see, I’m not such a nice man after all.”
“All couples fight,” she said, pulling away. “It wasn’t your fault.”
“It doesn’t feel that way,” he said, his shoulder still chilled from her touch. “She left that night because of me.”
Carolina sat for a moment in thought. Her silhouette shimmered as she clasped her hands in her lap.
“I would feel awful if Richard lived his whole life riddled with guilt over what happened to me,” she said. She paused for a moment, looking over at him with soft, wide eyes. “I can’t speak for Rachel, but I’m sure she would want you to be happy. For River’s sake at the very least.”
