“No, it’s fine,” he interrupted, and I could tell he meant it. He looked unbothered when he said, “He’s my mother’s dad.”
I couldn’t stop myself from asking, “So she doesn’t see him at all?”
“She actually died a long time ago, when I was little.” Hishand went up as he said, “And don’t feel bad for asking because it’s history that doesn’t hurt anymore. I didn’t really ever know her—or my dad, for that matter. She had some…not great hobbies and wasn’t especially maternal, which is why my grandparents took custody of me and Caroline when I was a baby.”
“Oh my God,” I said in horror, taking his hand.
“No, it’s fine,” he said, giving me a reassuring look. “Seriously. I like that you know, honestly.”
“You do?”
He nodded with a small smile, and I smiled back. I could tell the wound wasn’t fresh, that it wasn’t something that hurt to talk about, but I also sensed it probably wasn’t his favorite subject. “Do you want to talk about something else?”
“Definitely,” he said, squeezing my hand before letting go to grab a fry. “What do you have in mind?”
“Um…” I looked up at the tree above him, a bright yellow cottonwood, and could only come up with, “The weather?”
I winced and grabbed my soda to drink off the shame.
“Okay,” he said with an amused look. “Or we could also talk about, like, love, if you wanted to.”
The gulp of soda went straight down the wrong tube, which immediately made me start coughing.
Which made him immediately start laughing. “Are you okay? Did I kill you with that question?”
“I’m fine,” I said, a tiny cough interrupting my words as I held up a finger. I let out a breath. “I guess let’s talk about love.”
31
Connor
I hadn’t expected her to be so calm about the question.
I mean, aside from the whole choking-on-her-Coke reaction, she looked pretty unfazed.
But I realized when she nonchalantly responded that since she’d always seemed…anti-romance, like she was too practical for that nonsense, I’d expected her to dodge any conversation about the topic.
Although to be fair, I was shocked as fuck that I’d brought it up.
I’d be lying if I said I hadn’t spent a fair amount of time wondering about her history, but it was mostly because the thought of anybody having the privilege of knowing Duffy in an intimate way made me jealous.
And I didn’t even meanintimatein the physical way.
It was more that I loved knowing things about her that other people didn’t know and I liked fitting into her world, and I wasn’t a fan of imagining anyone else doing the same thing.
I fucking hated the thought of it.
I foolishly and pathetically wanted her to bemytreasure that no one had ever discovered before me, all the while knowing I had zero claim on her.
Now that I’d brought this up, though, I had to forge ahead.
“So, I guess the big question in this discussion would be…” I said, thinking for a moment. “Have you ever been in love, Duffy Distefano? Aside from your relationship with Carl, of course.”
“Of course.”
Her dark brows knit together, like she was contemplating the question. “I mean, there have been times in my life when I thought I was in love, but with the power of hindsight and its twenty-twenty vision, I think my answer is no. I don’t think I’ve ever been in love.”
“Wow. Such a mature answer,” I said, not appreciating it in the least because I wanted actual details.
