“Oh, so this is a Tony thing,” I said.
“Sucha Tony thing. I got this cat the summer before I went to college, and my dorms wouldn’t let me bring him, so my dad was stuck with him. Which he claimed to hate, right? But a month later, Fluffy was renamed Dale Earnhardt Junior and no longer mine. He and my father have the strangest connection known to man. They’re like soulmates, I swear to God.”
“Dale Earnhardt Junior?”
“My dad loves NASCAR and apparently the cat did something that reminded him of restrictor plate racing so…” She trailed off like that explained everything.
“Oh, don’t stop now,” I said. “I need to know more about your dad’s connection to the cat.”
“He treats the cat so much better than he treated me and my brothers,” she said, shaking her head in disbelief but smiling at the same time. “For example, he thinks Dale has anxiety, so Dale has a standing appointment once a month with a cat chiropractor.”
“A cat—”
“—chiropractor, yes, you heard me right,” she said. “According to my father, when Dale is stressed, his neck gets tight and he really needs an adjustment. Apparently, it’s like all the tension just drains out of him.”
“No shit,” I said with a laugh.
“Yeah, no shit,” she said, nodding. “It is absurd and I havelectured my father no less than three hundred times about what a waste of money it is to pay somebody to chiropract on a cat, but he does not listen. He points out every ridiculous thing he spent money on that I wanted as a child, and he’s convinced this is a much more intelligent way to spend his cash.”
“You know,” I said, “he really missed an opportunity with the name of that cat.”
“What?”
“He should’ve gone with DalePurrnhardt Junior,” I said. “Get it?”
“My father would probably shoot you in the face for saying that,” she said with a laugh. “I know without a doubt that he would hate that pun.”
“I still say it’s a missed opportunity, but I suppose I’ll let it lie.”
“It’s best that you do,” she said. “So thank you so much for bringing my AirPods, by the way.”
“Sure,” I said, sliding them across the table toward her. “My phone kept telling me for a couple days that I was being followed around by something and it wasn’t until I dropped a straw wrapper that I found them under my seat.”
“I’m just happy none of my co-workers have to die today,” she said.
The cat jerked hard at that moment, making Duffy’s entire upper body move.
“That hasgotto be uncomfortable,” I said. “Dale is kicking your ass.”
“He definitely is, but I know once I take him out I’ll never get him back in. I love the guy, but he only listens to my dad.”
“Do you want help?” I asked. “I’m usually pretty good with animals. I can carry him. How far is the chiropractor?”
A little wrinkle formed between her eyebrows in confusion. “It’s only a few blocks away, but you don’t have to,” she said.
“Oh, I don’t mind, I don’t have anything going on for another hour. It’s a nice morning to hold a cat.”
Her uncertain look grew into a wide smile that I felt in my chest.
God, I like her way too fucking much.
“That would be great,” she said. “Although I literally don’t know what Dale will do when we take him out.”
“I think I can handle the cat. I won’t let go of him,” I said.
She glanced down at my hands and I laughed in disbelief. “Are you seriously still doubting me because of the dropped pass against the Raiders? Are you never going to let me live that down?”
She let out a giggle. “I wasn’t doubting you, I was actually looking at the size of your hands and thinking there was a very good chance that you won’t drop the cat because the cat-to-hand ratio is definitely in your favor.”
