“So that’s what you meant when you said you didn’t want to lose another woman.”
“Yes. That man in question shot at me. Left me for dead. I had to spend the entire year recovering because of it. I lost a lot of power in that time. It’s why I need your father’s contacts to help me regain power. To end Enzo Bianchi and Will Taylor.”
“So… this woman. She left you for another man. How long were you two together?”
“We didn’t really date. It’s not… not what you think.”
“Then tell me,” I demand.
“She’s someone I tried to use in a power struggle. She slipped out of my grasp. It’s nothing more. But it’s why I struggle to trust you. How do I know you won’t fall for another man and then leave me for dead?”
“Because I just saved your life today. I could have stood back and let Cormac kill you. I would have been free of you then but I didn’t stand back. I stopped him. Yes, because I love my brother and I don’t want him ruining his life because of this. But also because I just didn’t want you to die. I want us to start over, Marco. I want passion in my life. I want excitement. I got that when you…” I blush, feeling suddenly shy.
“When I gave you an orgasm?”
“Yes. That.”
“So you just want me for sex?”
“No. I want connection. My dad made it so I was never allowed to date. I tried dating some boys back in high school but things never went far before he stopped it. And now we’re married so I’m stuck with you forever. I want to experience that passion with you again. I want to live for once.” And maybe fall in love for the first time as well but I keep that to myself. That’s too intimate for Marco to know right now.
“You mean all of this?”
“I mean every word,” I say without any hesitation.
Marco stares into my eyes for a long beat before he nods. “You’re right. You didn’t have to save my life today but you did. So… thank you for that. And I like you, Ciara. I really do. I just struggle to trust. But as long as you don’t give me any reason to distrust you… then I can make more of an effort.”
“You will?” I gasp.
“I’ll try. Just as long as you stop flirting with other men.”
“I can promise that. As long as you stop pushing me away and start to trust me.”
“I think today proved that I can.” He gives my hand a squeeze. “It’s late. It’s been a long fucking day. We should get some rest. Tomorrow we head back to New York.”
I frown. “But we still have five days left of our honeymoon.”
“Your brother is going to be a problem. What’s to stop him from coming back here? I have no guards. No protection. But your father can provide that for me. We should goback to New York. Maybe that will calm your brother down. I need to work on my plan anyway.”
“But what about us?” I hate how pathetic I sound when I ask it.
“We can still work on our marriage. Working won’t get in the way of that.”
“You’re sure? A lot of men say that but then work always gets in the way.”
He tucks a piece of my hair behind my ear. “I meant what I said. I like you. I… care for you. You are mine, Ciara. That won’t change. Now, let’s go to bed. I’m fucking tired.” He drops his hand and walks away from me. Even though we resolved a lot of things, I still feel so much uncertainty in my stomach, like I’m standing on the edge of a cliff, just waiting to see if I’ll fall off or not.
Marco and I don’t sleep next to each other. I stay in my room and he stays in his. I want to go over to his room and sleep beside him but I’m afraid to. We had a breakthrough tonight but that doesn’t mean things are perfect between us. And when we go back to New York, I’m worried any progress we made today will be obliterated.
Marco drives us in silence to the airport. I’m desperate to ask him more about this woman who left him for another man but I can tell it’s a touchy subject and I don’t want to upset him.
We get a flight for New York at the last minute and within ten hours, we’re back in the city I grew up in. For the entire flight, neither me nor Marco speak to each other.
When I step foot outside JFK, I inhale the familiar scent of my home city. It should put me at ease but I only feel more anxious and I’m not sure why.
Marco drives us to his home out in the suburbs. A large mansion that’s colored white and black. A pretty tree-lined driveway leads up to the house. So this is where I’ll be living for the rest of my life. It doesn’t make me as unhappy as I thought I would be. As long as Marco promises to try with me, I’ll try with him. There’s a chance for us.
We just have to keep to our word and learn to trust each other.
