‘There is no point to this discussion. The king’s shadow and my men are already working on retrieving it,’ Irsha saidcalmly, but his body was more tense than I expected, and the deep crease between his eyebrows contradicted his otherwise controlled demeanour.
He’s hiding something…The thought that Irsha knew more than he was sharing was a nail scratching down a chalkboard, but I forced myself to finish the council session. Riordan sensed the change in my mood and answered all the remaining questions while I sat observing the Blade Master, who met my gaze with an unreadable expression.
‘Irsha, please stay a moment longer,’ I said, and quietly muttered a curse when his hand reached for his missing daggers. I was right; the Grand Master’s disciple was hiding something. The room emptied too slowly for my liking. Still, I didn’t rush things. My breathing deepened with each exhale as I used my time to reinforce the control I’d need. When we were finally alone, I asked, ‘What aren’t you telling me?’
‘I’m like an open book, Your Majesty. Besides, what reason I would have to hide anything from you?’ he answered, looking me dead in the eye.
I didn’t trust that look, vividly remembering the look on Boyan’s face when he’d lied, telling me he didn’t know who’d disfigured me.
‘Irsha, we can talk, or I can call Riordan back and have him rip the information from that thick skull of yours.’ I paused when his jaw tightened. He said nothing, but his silence was louder than words. Not just his silence, but the way his pupils narrowed, the pulse on his neck became ever so slightly faster, and the smile he forced never reached his eyes. ‘Irsha, just tell me,’ I said through clenched teeth. ‘Is it about Sana?’
His face twisted with pain before he pulled a scrap of paper out and passed it to me. ‘I got it this morning. It was written a week ago.’ He paused when I snatched the paper.
I tried to read it, but the message was coded. In the end, I threw it at him, my body shaking. ‘If she’s hurt, and I could’ve prevented it…’
There it was – the anger, the fear, the first genuine feelings that slipped from under the mask of a Grand Master’s indifference. ‘Do you think I haven’t considered every possibility already?’ He pushed his chair away, standing up abruptly, but somehow, I was faster.
I caught his shoulder, preventing him from leaving, and in a blur, the tip of the dagger was at my chin, as if that would hold me back. ‘Do not underestimate her, Your Majesty. Roksana is smart and strong, and… the best poisoner this realm ever had. She will find her way home.’ He sounded so certain, yet the tip of his dagger trembled, scratching my skin.
‘Irsha, for the love of gods, where is she?’ The pain in his eyes stole my breath away, the beast rising to the surface, far beyond my control.
I needed to know. Fear flashed through my veins, and I roared in his face, uncaring that the dagger pierced my skin when I pulled him closer.
‘Where. Is. She?!’
The world crashed down on me with his whispered answer.
‘In Tivala’s dungeon.’
Chapter 38
Roksana
Snow crunched under my boots, the high drifts exhausting to push through.
‘Because why not? Why the fuck not. After all, I’m the idiot who thought trekking through the deadly – no, half-frozen swamp in the middle of winter.’ I grunted when another lump of snow from a bare branch landed behind my collar.
My breath misted in the chilled night air as I cursed the weather, my life, and even the gods themselves. I kept talking, desperate to hear my own voice above the relentless cawing of crows who waited to feed on my corpse when I surrendered to my fate.
The last beef jerky strip still lingered on my tongue, heavy with smoke and salt; something I wouldn’t eat unless I were starving. I guess I was, because I’d chewed on the leathery meat with gusto several hours ago.
‘I’m not going to die here, Morana. If you have any decency, Lady of the Winter, you will let me pass. Go, freeze Tivala’s arse. He deserves it.’ I was close to tears, but stopped myself. Water freezing on my cheek was the last thing I needed.
I need shelter,I thought, looking at the full moon brightening the sky with its unyielding elegance.How long has it been?Several hours earlier, I’d lost the trail. Still, I walked, worrying that if I stopped moving, the bitter cold would send me into eternal sleep.
Since leaving the cavern, I’d followed Tymon’s map as religiously as a Tangra zealot. It helped me avoid patrols and larger dwellings, but once I entered the swamp, my luck ran out. Between the gnarled trees and brittle shrubs sticking up from the frozen puddles, I could barely identify any orientation points. The only blessing was that the entire place was frozen solid, or I would have drowned in the muddy water on my first day.
Something in the distance caught my attention – a massive tree perched on top of a small hill. It was different from the twisted black alders that thrived in the water or the willows whose listless branches hung over my head.
‘Come on, Sana. They’re waiting for you. You promised Irsha you’d return. He can’t spend his life thinking he left you to die,’ I muttered to myself, coming closer and noticing a sizeable gap in the tree’s roots. I eyed the dark pit with trepidation, taking a tentative sniff. The smell made me recoil.It’s clearly some animal’s burrow.
‘Perfect. A choice between being eaten and freezing to death,’ I grumbled, looking up at the sky where the moon now glared at me from behind the gathering clouds. Snow followed, dusting the world with its cold white blanket. ‘You know, fuck you and your pale face. At least the beast’s stomach will be warm.’
I needed this anger; it was proof I still had hope, that I hadn’t given up.
As if mocking me, as soon as I pushed forward, the moon disappeared, and my leg fell through the ice into the water beneath. I laughed, no longer caring about the tears flowingdown my cheeks as I pulled my foot back, icy water sloshing in my boot while my body shivered. Inhaling sharply, I wiped the tears away.
‘I’m not done yet. I’ll rest and, if nothing eats me, I’ll carry on,’ I said through gritted teeth, pausing at the gaping maw of the entrance. The stench intensified. The bones at the threshold suggested a bear burrow or some similarly large predator. I peered inside, but as far as I could see, the place was empty, sheltered from the wind and free of snow.
