‘Yes, partly. I don’t know how he found out, but he knew who you were, even if he didn’t know about your magic.’
Boyan went silent, staring at the dancing flames, leaving me with so many questions. If I were half-Vila, Jagon’s obsession became much more sinister, and Reynard… did he want me, or had my bloodline influenced his emotions?
‘I love you, Roksana, and I loved your mother. I had no choice but to let him train you, but there wasn’t a day I didn’t regret it. Maybe this illness is a punishment for my carelessness, for causing Dobra’s death.’
‘That was on him, not you,’ I said, placing my head on his shoulder. ‘You did the best you could; now we need to focus on the future.’ I bit my lip, wondering if I should mention Jagon’s return. Ultimately, I decided against it. Boyan carried enough guilt as it was.
‘Future? Let me guess, Visla wants me to name the next Grand Master?’ He didn’t look shocked; if anything, a smile played on his lips. ‘Let’s start by officially introducing you as my daughter.’
‘Why?’ I asked, and he looked at me sharply.
‘Because I’ve wanted to from the moment you entered the Brotherhood,’ he said before taking my hands in his. He paused as if he were trying to find the right words. ‘And because I want to name you as my heir. You have the strength and vision to lead them. We both know those sheep in wolves’ clothing don’t. Irsha won’t cause trouble; he’s always loved you, but the others…’
‘What?’ I said far too quickly, making Boyan frown. ‘I can’t, I have to learn magic… and there are… other things,’ I stuttered, lowering my head, using the only excuse I could come up with.
‘Other things? Like the War King’s frequent visits to your home? He should know better than toying with your affections,’ my father said, as if being finally recognised allowed him to voice his objections. ‘I don’t want to see you hurt, Sana. The world won’t let you be together, even if you choose each other. When you lose the one you love, life turns your hopes and dreams into ash.’
‘You think I don’t know that?’ His words hurt because they echoed my fears, and yet I couldn’t admit it. ‘I don’t want to be a queen or a leader. I’m not cut out for either, but if I can be your shadow mage, I can be his too. As for my bed, he only entered because I allowed it.’ A muscle twitched on Boyan’s jaw, but I wasn’t just refusing his proposal; I was ready to offer a solution. ‘You don’t want me leading the Brotherhood when you have Irsha. He’s capable and believes in your vision. I’ll happily support him from the shadows.’
Boyan wanted to reply, but a dry cough shook his body. I rose to fetch more water, and when I returned, he’d dressed himself, calm and composed, with a lethal aura that made me frown.
‘You should be resting.’
‘I’ll rest when they put the last nail in my coffin,’ he said, taking the cup and drinking its contents while I reeled at his moribund comment. ‘Fine, call your Blade back to the Chapter House. I’ll announce my decision at dinner. It’s well past time hestopped loitering at Lillie’s and embraced a more prominent role in governing his wards.’
‘Shouldn’t we tell him first? Give him time to prepare?’ I asked. It occurred to me that by refusing Boyan, I might have pushed my friend into a role he wasn’t interested in.
Boyan smirked, fastening his belt. ‘If he aspires to be Grand Master, he must face the unexpected. Don’t worry, daughter. He’ll take on this role just as I did, because being a Dark Brother is all he’s ever wanted.’
He was right, and Irsha was the best choice; still, it didn’t sit well with me. We were making this decision for him. ‘No, I’ll tell him, and if he refuses, we’ll find someone else. Times and situations change. I don’t want him resenting being forced into something he doesn’t desire.’
Boyan looked at me, his calm, assessing stare building unease in my core. Then he took a few steps, tentatively testing his strength. ‘It is him or you, Roksana. I won’t let the Brotherhood be destroyed by sentiment. No one else is strong enough to go against Jagon and Tymon. Not when they both work for Tivala.’
His words hung in the air, heavy with tension. If Jagon or Tymon took the Grand Master’s seat, the Brotherhood would become Tivala’s. So, it was Irsha or me. I only hoped fate had mercy on me and my Blade wouldn’t resent being thrust into the Grand Master’s position.
‘Just give me the afternoon to talk to him.’ I smiled, masking my feelings. Then, on impulse, I bent and kissed his cheek, warmth blossoming in my core at the joy I saw in his eyes.
‘Go, I’ll see you both at dinner.’ He paused, resignation entering his gaze. ‘And tell Irsha to bring his long daggers. Many will not be happy with my choice.’
Chapter 4
Roksana
When I arrived at the House of Lillies, the atmosphere was strangely subdued; even the doorman was acting odd. Despite knowing me, he held out a hand, then asked why I was there. A raised eyebrow was my only response, but he got the message and withdrew to open the door.
The shadowed alcoves, designed to hide couples engaged in intimate trysts, were exposed to sunlight streaming through the normally curtained windows. A fresh, cleansing breeze swept through the large banquet hall as the servants removed all evidence of the previous evening’s debauchery.
The daylight revealed every dubious stain hidden during the night, and I didn’t envy the cleaners scrubbing them down. Despite this, the room still held a dignified beauty, as if its tastefully stained-glass windows were too refined to acknowledge such sights.
I greeted the working women, but as I entered a small antechamber, a change to the aether surrounding me made me pause. With a glance back at the servants, I wondered if they sensed the difference or were oblivious to the protectionspells shining over every door.This is excessive, even with war looming. What’s she afraid of?
I hadn’t been here for some time, busy with Tova’s capture and my geas trial, so the uncomfortable feeling pricking my conscience was easy to recognise. I’d neglected my friend, and no excuse could justify that.
The stiff fabric of my kirtle rustled when I grabbed it to rush upstairs, two steps at a time, heading for the private wing of the house. Mischief danced in my soul as I imagined jumping onto her bed and pestering her until, still half asleep, she told me what was bothering her.
‘Wake up, Ice Queen. We need to talk,’ I called, flinging the door open. My hand was still on the doorknob when a massive shape jerked up from the bed. For a split second, the unfocused, myopic stare distracted me before I saw the knife flying towards my head.
‘Fuck!’ I screamed, slamming the door shut, wondering what a half-naked Irsha was doing in Lily’s bed.What the fuck? How? When did they become lovers?
