I took pity on him. ‘Rey? It’s dirty and is a tattered mess. You don’t need to worry, I won’t wear it again.’
‘Thank fuck for that.’ He exhaled sharply, grabbed the fabric with both hands, and slowly, carefully stretched the fabric until the buttons popped off one after another, scattering all over the room.
I shivered at the display of Rey’s strength, but somehow, the popping buttons made me giggle. ‘Brutish warlord – just like an orc chieftain!’ I grinned when he gave me a sheepish look.
‘I’ll be gentle, I swear. It’s these ridiculous buttons. Who made something so impractical?’ he said, giving me an exasperated look.
‘The best dressmaker Jagon could find,’ I answered, and his expression darkened.
‘So they’re all his gifts. My lady, with your permission…’ he said stiffly. I nodded, then stood there, wide-eyed as he silently, methodically repeated his actions. The trembling as each seam tore was not me flinching, but my fists clenched, and I locked gazes with Rey, focusing on the fire in his eye. I was soon standing in the tiniest chemise and breast wrap, and my king took a step back, undressing without once looking away.
‘So, do you want me to bathe in these?’ I asked, pointing to my underclothes, while he stood in front of me naked, massive, and completely shameless.
‘If you wish. I will honour your choice, and let your body be my guide,’ he said with a gentleness that left me swallowing hard. He held his breath when I peeled off the last layers, exposing all the bruises that painted the story of my torment. Wild Magic blazed in his eye, and for a moment, I thought he would lose control. Then the golden fire dimmed until the familiar steel-grey returned.
Rey took my hand and led us to the tub. He lifted me up as he stepped inside and positioned me between his legs.
‘I will kill Jagon, and any other bastard who touched you. And I will take my time.’ His words carried a calm certainty. As if it weren’t a threat or a promise, but a fact that would happen whether or not the fates intended it. Rey lathered the soap onto a sponge before slowly massaging the aromatic foam into my skin.
‘Jagon is dead,’ I said, leaning forward as he slowly washed my back. ‘I watched him die, and I don’t know how I feel about it. In the end… he saved me.’
Rey’s breath caught, his hands stalling for a moment before the sponge resumed its gentle circles over my skin. ‘Then his rotten existence ended doing something honourable. Mourn him if your heart aches, but don’t feel guilty if it doesn’t. The man earned his fate.’ His muscles tensed with a slight tremor as he held back his anger.
Shivers ran through my body when he turned me around, spreading the foam over my breasts. He paused, withdrawing his touch, and the silence stretched between us. ‘Don’t miss a spot,’ I said, taking his hand and pulling it back, more determined than ever to teach my body to feel good again. He froze, his cock twitching under me before he shifted, hiding it away.
‘Ignore it,’ he grunted, ensuring his erection didn’t touch my skin.
‘I asked you to be gentle, not ignore your desire. We are lovers; you can touch me,’ I said, because his avoidance and guilt made me feel wretched. Like I was no longer worthy of his touch.
‘I know, and you can see how much I want to.’ He gestured to his still erect cock. ‘But after what you endured… The last thing you need is a horny idiot harassing you again. The bruises on your breasts… they are shaped like handprints.’
‘So you don’t want to touch what another man spoiled, or just wait until they fade away?’ I snapped because it was wrong. I wanted to revel in his touch, not be reminded of those…
Reynard’s eyes opened, his face reddened as if I had slapped him.
He’s trying to help, and you’re hurting him. Stop it, Sana. Just stop it…Yet I couldn’t help it. Nor could I stop the tears that burned my eyes. As if my mind wanted to strike first before I was hurt again. I jerked away, but he caught my hand and drew me back to his lap. Water splashed on the marble floor as I fought him, but even being gentle, he was stronger, and I didn’t want him to let me go.
‘Sanika, please. Let me explain. Hit me all you want, bite and scratch me, but please, listen to me.’ The pain in his voice broke through to me, and I stopped breathing heavily. He stilled, his hands tightening when he embraced me from behind. I felt his breath on the back of my neck, the heavy, laboured panting of a man holding on by a thread.
‘I want to touch you so much, but I’m afraid. I don’t want to make it worse. I don’t know how to be gentle when the thought that you suffered because I let the enemy fester under my nose is driving me mad.’ His jaw tightened, muscles working hard as he ground his teeth. ‘Each time you flinch or force a smile to hide away your pain, I know I’ve failed you. And the question in my mind…’
‘Question? What question?’Is he questioning us?My fear spiked, and a sob broke through, my tears mixing with the bathwater.
Reynard raised his head, face frozen in guarded hope, when he cupped my face in his large hand. ‘I keep asking myself: After all you’ve been through, can you still love me?’
Chapter 41
Reynard
Seeing Sana cry was my undoing. The glistening, silent drops clung to her eyelashes before slipping down her cheeks. She swallowed hard. Once, twice, her mouth opened and closed while my heart sank. She didn’t tell me what happened in Tivala’s dungeons, but I knew. After all this, how could she still love the man who’d so completely failed her?
Breathing became difficult, the weight of the pain in Sana’s eyes too much even for my iron control. The haunting expression on her face when she realised, I knew. That the marks on her skin told me all she couldn’t. She’d gone to retrieve this damned contract. How could I not blame myself for it?
‘Rey, please hold me,’ she whispered softly. I held my tongue by the thinnest of threads, simply offering all of myself as I enfolded her in my arms, nearly breaking when a quiet sigh escaped her lips. ‘I love you. How could I not, you silly oaf?’
‘Gods have mercy, woman, I can’t live without you,’ I muttered, my lungs finally expanding, allowing me to breathe again. She reached for me, tears still falling, her mouth twitching when she pulled my beard to claim a kiss. My lips found hersso clumsily that she gave a small, surprised chuckle, sending my heart soaring.
‘How can you doubt my feelings?’ she asked when we parted, and the soft accusation in her voice made me feel like a fool.
