She laughs. “Nonsense. It’s embarrassing. I don’t want to tell you.”
“Well, in that case, definitely tell me.”
“You first,” she commands. “Secret for a secret, right? Better make it juicy if you really want to know what I think about when it comes to you.”
I breathe into the phone, nervous about what she’ll inevitably pull out of me. “What secret do you want to know?”
“Have you ever fallen for a client before? Has sex ever turned into feelings for you?”
“Charlie…there’s no good way to answer that question.”
“How about with the truth?” she challenges.
“I’ve only fallen in love once, so no, in that regard, I’ve never fallen for a client. But there’s always feelings when it comes to sex. Sometimes those feelings are friendship, protectiveness, or plain curiosity. But when you have sex…you should feel something. It bothers you, doesn’t it?”
“I’m not jealous of your clients, Taio,” Charlie says. “I’m a little jealous of Alaina.”
“Why?” I ask thickly. As if I don’t know.
“Because I know she was your first love…your first everything. I know she hurt you but she’ll always have that spot in your heart. The way you’ll always have a spot in mine.”
I know we didn’t go all the way, but in Charlie’s mind, we’ve already shared something so sacred and intimate. It was a big deal. I should’ve stayed that night. Instead, I ran home when my dad insisted.Fuck.Things need to change. One scary admission at a time.
“You might not be my first, Charlie, but I have a feeling you’re something much bigger.” She could be the last woman I ever love. But that’s not something you say over the phone. Instead, I let myself sink into the unfamiliar warmth spreading through my chest—this feeling I thought I’d never have again. For once, the weight of my past feels lighter than the pull of myfuture. For once, I have something I’m not willing to lose. “Now, your turn. What do you think about when it comes to me?”
“I think maybe my mom wasn’t totally full of shit.”
I laugh at her crassness. “What?”
“Love seems…worth waiting for. That’s all. But I’m not saying anything else because I would surely scare you away.”
“Doubt it. Try me…”
But she holds something back, guarding her heart with the careful restraint of someone who’s read one too many articles about scaring men away with too much honesty too soon. “Black Cat sneezed and scared himself so badly he fell off the couch. It was comedic gold and you missed it.”
“I’m devastated.”
“You should be. It was a top-ten cat moment.” A pause. “He misses you too, by the way. He keeps sitting in your spot in the fort and staring at the door like he’s waiting for you.”
“Tell him I’ll be back soon.”
Charlie’s voice softens as she addresses the cat. “Hear that, you little chonk? Daddy’s coming back soon and then you’ll be restricted to two meals a day instead of the four I’ve been spoiling you with.” There’s a faint meow in the background—that distinctive raspy sound Black Cat makes when he’s mildly inconvenienced. I can almost picture his glowing eyes narrowing to slits, his midnight coat puffed slightly at the spine, tail twitching in what could either be contentment or the prelude to a playful swat at Charlie’s hand.
“Four meals?”
I smile despite everything, letting her voice wash over me. Even her rambling about the cat feels like medicine—something to soothe the raw places the day has left behind.
“What are you wearing right now?” I ask, then immediately backtrack. “Wait, that sounded like a line. I genuinely just want to picture you. The full scene.”
She laughs. “Elmer Fudd shirt, as established. Fuzzy socks with little avocados on them. Hair in what can only be described as a chaos bun. No makeup. Probably some chip crumbs on my shirt from stress-eating earlier.”
“You’re beautiful.”
“I literally just described a gremlin.”
“Rose-colored glasses, baby. All I picture is perfection.”
“Smooth.” But I can hear her smiling. “What about you? Paint me a picture.”
