“Okay.” Rina doesn’t argue, doesn’t push back. Just accepts my decision. “I’ll send everything to Bradley Castellano thisafternoon. He goes to Sean’s weekly poker games.” There’s a bitter edge to her tone anytime Rina brings up her ex-husband. “I’ll make sure they move quick.”
“Thank you. And, Rina?”
“Yeah?”
“Thank you for being honest with me. Even when it’s hard to hear.”
“Always, Taio. Now go back to your pop star. I can’t wait to hear more about your life through the gossip columns.”
“Quit looking me up, Rina.”
Her laughter ripples through the phone, earnest and rich. “No promises.”
I sit in the parking lot for another ten minutes, trying to figure out who I am and what I want.
Then I start the car and drive back to the city.
I can’t fly to Miami tonight. There’s too much to figure out. The lawyers are going to want to meet, likely to discuss an increased fee. An appeal? A potential whole new trial?Shit.That was hell the first time. Now we’re begging to do it again.But if it means his freedom…I don’t have a choice here.
I wrench the wheel around and head back to my apartment, where stale air and a layer of neglect wait to welcome me home.
It’s almost midnight when I finally get home and call her.
She answers on the first ring, which means she was waiting. Probably staring at her phone the way I’ve been staring at mine, both of us orbiting each other across a thousand miles of empty space.
“Hey, you.” Her voice is soft, sleepy, relieved. “I was starting to think you fell off the planet.”
“Sorry. It’s been a day.” I sink onto my couch, suddenly exhausted. The apartment feels emptier than usual without Black Cat judging me from his perch on the bookshelf.
“Please tell me you’re at the world’s quietest airport,” Charlie says sullenly.
I exhale. “I’m at my apartment. Missed my flight. I can’t come back tonight.”
“Dammit, Taio,” she grouches out. “Okay, you know what? Let’s just clear the air right here and right now. You’re mad at me and you’re punishing me.”
“I’m doing no such thing.”
“Then why’d you run away? The family emergency excuse was flimsy to begin with, and now you’re not coming back? Look…I want to go on dates with you. In public. I want everyone to know how you make me feel but I need time. I can’t just flip the entire script of my life overnight. And it’s a little unfair for you to ask me to have all the solutions at once, because this is new for me too and?—”
“Tweety, stop.I didn’t run away. I…came back for visiting hours with my dad.”
“Oh. Well…is he okay? Why did you say it was an emergency?”
“Because I didn’t want you to think less of me. Running home because Daddy demanded it. I don’t want you to think of me as a pushover. Charlie, nobody who knows my dad thinks I should have a relationship with him. I find myself hiding my loyalty sometimes, just to avoid a lecture.”
“Oh, Taio.He’s your dad.I can understand that. It’s normal to love your parents fiercely. It’s just hard when you grow up and suddenly you’re the one protecting them. Or at least, you’re protecting the version of them that you treasure the most.”
“Hmm,” I say, nestling deeper into my worn couch. “Are you talking about your mom?”
“Yeah. And I promise you this, Taio—if my mom were alive, the fact that I’m the product of an affair, or that she lied, or that she kept me away from my dad…would melt away. If she were here, nobody could keep me from her. I’d talk to her every day. I’d defend her against the world. We’re not really in control of it.”
“Right. Hardwired into our DNA or something?”
“Remember the night in New York, when you told me it was okay to be mad at my mom but I could still love her?”
“Yeah, I remember.”
“You may have to take your own advice. It’s okay to be mad at your dad, Taio. It’s also okay to love him.”
