Three: This warmth spreading through my chest should be indignation. Instead, it feels like relief.
16
Maddox
“A mother’s opinion should be held in the highest regard. Except, of course, when she is wrong.”
— A Seelie Guide to Matrimony
Ihave really stepped in the shit now.
Not just my boots are dirty. I am past my neck and drowning in my own muck.
I should have been prepared with a name; I have had more than enough time to come up with one. Instead, all my free time was spent daydreaming about a certain Seelie fae. When Nia asked, I panicked.
Now I must find an Unseelie named Gia Gill, or else Nia Quill will know I am a liar.
Why did I not listen to Gryffin and tell her the truth from the beginning?
I am selfish. That is why. For the first time since I met Nia, she did not look at me as if I was a horrifying monster, and I did not want to lose that feeling.
When she learns what a deceitful male I am, she will not forgive me. I would not deserve her forgiveness anyway.
The misery does not end with my lie. She said that we were friends.
Friendship is not all I desire from Nia. This lie has put me exactly where I do not want to be.
I have had many female friends in the past, and once you have established that boundary, it separates you like the canyon used to separate us from the Seelie fae.
For a moment, I consider going to find Ever to seek advice, but Nia has gone back into the castle, and I am not ready for her to look at me with hatred in her beautiful eyes. Instead, I hurry back to my wagon to take Biscuits to his new pen and then bring Dusk to the canyon bridge.
Not trusting the boards to hold our combined weight, I dismount and tie him to one of the many posts erected along the rocky ledge. He stamps his hoof, no doubt irritated that there is no grass in this place. “This is for your own good,” I tell him as he glowers at me through eyes as black as his hair. “Your belly will explode if you eat much more.”
When I return, I must start taking him for daily runs so he does not become lazy.
I take my time crossing the bridge, avoiding the more weathered planks. Brilliant blue fades into gray fog, and shadows swallow me, as if someone drew the shades over the sun.
Gryffin is where I last found him, on his steps, carving a new walking stick. If I did not know he had been overseeing work on the bridge, I would think he had not moved at all.
He glances up but does not smile. This is not unusual for him. His smile was lost along with his mate. “Is there trouble at the bridge?” he asks.
Thankfully not. Ever says the Seelie have gotten more done over the last two days than they have in the past week. “There is trouble in my life. The lie has grown a thousand legs.”
He drops the stick and chisel with a huff. “Why do you insist on asking for advice when you have no intention of taking it?”
This is the problem. I have the best of intentions, but then something twisted inside of me thinks it knows better, and then my mouth says things that are not true.
“I know. I am sorry. I promise that I will tell her the truth. But how can I be sure that she will not hate me afterward?” This is a fate I must avoid at all costs.
He drops his shaking head with a groan. “You cannot control how another feels about you. You can only control yourself and your own actions. Your actions have proven you are an untrustworthy male.”
I do not want to be untrustworthy.
“Tell her the truth, Maddox.”
I take out the list of reasons Nia cares for her Nolan.
There it is in black and white. Number seven, the reason I have not found a proper night’s sleep since she gave this paper to me.
