My stomach tightens at the thought. Leave it to Gryff to come right out and say it. “It is not like that between us.”
His lips press flat. “But you want it to be.”
I bite my tongue until the coppery tang of blood fills my mouth. The last two days have been unbearable, all because I have wanted to see the Seelie fae so badly and she has not shown. I could have knocked on her window, but leaving her those gifts crossed enough lines. She already made the accusation of stalking once; I do not want her to be right.
“It does not matter what I want. I fucked it all up.” Even if Kerrisdidcome back, I am not sure what I would say to her.
How do I explain this heaviness in my chest when she is near? The way she consumes my every thought, waking or dreaming? This is not the way I should be feeling when Kerris Dawn has made it clear that she only wishes to be my friend.
At least she did want that. Now, who knows?
Gryff goes back to his carving, but instead of taking all the bark in that section, he turns the stick, creating a spiral pattern. “Figures.”
“Not helpful, Gryff.” I already have enough disdain for myself; I do not need his as well.
“At least this explains why you came to me and not Maddox.”
I should have known he would figure it out. Maddox, for all his bravado and charm, thinks he knows what he is doing with females, but he has yet to receive even one proposal of marriage.
“What did you do?”
As I explain what happened, his face grows grimmer by the second, until he is full on cursing. “For an intelligent male, you have no damn sense. If you want this female, you need to let her know.”
This would be so much simpler if she were Unseelie. Kerris would not appreciate me slaying a wild boar or a stag and leaving that on her doorstep like the females of our camp.
He points at me with his chisel, the blade coming so close to my chest that he nearly takes off a chunk of my skin. “Once she realizes your true intentions, you need to open up to her. Tell her exactly how you are feeling.”
“Says the most closed-off man I know.” I would rather kill something. I am good at that.
“Just because I do not share my feelings with you does not mean I never shared them with my wife.” His voice thickens, his eyes glistening as he blinks rapidly. “I used to tell her everything.”
He rarely speaks about his wife—rarely shows emotion at all, so I am not quite sure what to do with myself. If this were Maddox, I would make fun of him. But with Gryff, it feels as if I should turn and walk away, give him some privacy to work through this and find someone else to help me.
Except there is no one else.
Gryff swipes a fist under his eyes and clears the gruffness from his throat. “I will do it. On one condition: You give me your skillet.”
“That belonged to my mother.” If he takes it, I will have to make the three-day trek to Villers to get another one.
“I do not care if it belonged to the gods themselves. Mine is in shit, and I want yours.”
His is only in shit because he does not know how to properly care for cast iron. My mother might not have been much of a cook, but she knew how to season a damn pan. “If you were a true friend, you would not ask for anything in return.”
“It is because I am a true friend that I am not asking for all of your cookware.”
What other choice do I have? To remain at home, and let one of the other males meet her at the bridge? To let her give them a box of inedible “biscuits” and have them think she is offering them more? “Fine.”
“Then we have ourselves a deal.” His nose wrinkles as he glances down at my trousers. “Do us both a favor and bathe before you meet your Seelie.”
“She is not mine.” But maybe, if I do this right, she could be.
Not forever. That would never work.
But perhaps for a little while…
“She certainly will not be if you go to her reeking of blood and guts. What did you kill anyway?”
“Took down a mountain elk in the northern forest this morning.” After what happened the other night, I had to killsomething.
