“Lady Whitney is here as my personal guest. You’d do well to remember that.” I gave her hand a reassuring squeeze, letting her know I meant every word. “It was a pleasure meeting you. I do hope to see more of you while you are visiting, Lady Whitney.”
She blinked back tears. “It would be my pleasure, your highness.”
“Please, go and enjoy yourself. And if you have any trouble”—I scowled at Kerrington—“do not hesitate to come to me with your grievances.”
Whitney bobbed a curtsy, giving Kerrington a wide berth as she returned to the festivities.
Kerrington drank both glasses of wine, one after the other. “With all due respect,” he drawled, wiping his mouth on his sleeve, “you must be careful of those you allow close to your person now that you are queen. Lady Whitney is a conniving little witch, desperate to align herself with power at any cost.”
I was through having other people tell me who someone was or was not. From now on, I would be making my own decisions. And I liked Lady Whitney, so Kerrington could sod off. “Did you need something else, Lord Kerrington?”
The murmuring crowd on the other side of the curtain grew louder. The musicians couldn’t start until the king officially arrived, and without dancing, guests turned to drink. Drink that had been flowing like water for well over an hour.
“What I need is for our stone king to get his arse out here so we can get on with thiscelebration.”
The sarcasm in Kerrington’s tone was impossible to ignore. “Do my ears deceive me? I was certain I heard you speak harshly about your king.”
“We need King Caiman,yourmajesty,” he amended before twisting and stalking back to the eager crowd.
Where in the world was Caiman? Instead of fighting against the crowd, I headed for the secret chamber that Caiman had used on our wedding night. He could be anywhere. I’d start with his rooms, then the privy chamber, then the library.Inside the dark room, my eyes took a moment to adjust. When they did, I saw a figure sitting on a bench under the window, moonlight playing on his raven hair.
“There you are. Everyone is looking for—”
His head lifted. Were those tears glistening in his eyes?
“What’s wrong?” I rushed. “Has something happened?”
“I do not wish to be king,” Caiman muttered, dropping his head into his hands.
I crossed the tiled floor to where he sat, unsure of what to say until I stopped in front of him and his glistening eyes raised to mine. Perhaps I didn’t need to say a thing.
This man had lost his brother and his father, and now he was expected to lead a nation. The weight of that burden must have been unbearable. I threaded my fingers through his hair, hugging him to my chest. His arms came around my hips, pulling me between his knees, clinging to me as if I were the sole force keeping him from breaking.
“You will be a great king,” I told him, meaning every single word.
His hold on me tightened.“It shouldn’t be me. It should be Alrec. This life isn’t mine. It was meant for him.”
“Alrec is gone.” Gone and never coming back. Was I to be in love with a ghost for the rest of my life? After learning his true nature, how could I claim to love him at all?“He was . . . he was never really there.”
Caiman sat up straighter, bringing his hands to cup my jaw, the buttery leather of his gloves grazing my bottom lip. “You tasted like strawberries,” he whispered, stroking slowly.
I was so focused on his fingers that the words took a moment to register. “I haven’t eaten any strawberries.”
“Not today. Four years ago. By the pond.”
“You remember?”
His thumb stilled in the center of my lip. “I’ve tried to forget, but the taste of you still haunts me. I wonder . . .” His hand dropped, and he eased forward until his breath mingled with mine. “I wonder what you taste like now.”
I closed the distance between us, brushing my lips against his, soft as a whisper. A memory. He made a noise low in his throat, somewhere between a groan and a growl. Full of want. Full of need. Need that I felt spreading from my core as Caiman’s tongue slid along the seam of my lips, sinking inside, stealing my breath. My thoughts. A piece of my heart.
And when he drew back to gaze up at me, pupils blown wide, my chest swelled with the same wonder and hope I saw on his face. It wasn’t enough. I wanted more.Neededmore.
I shoved him back against the cushion, climbed onto his lap, and slammed my lips to his.
The taste of him filled the well of longing inside of me, stealing my guilt and grief, replacing it with something warm and sweet. Something that had a name. A name I didn’t dare say aloud.
I clung to him, losing myself in the kiss and the way his hands tangled in my hair. Raked down my spine. Gripped my thighs. Like he wanted to touch me anywhere and everywhere.Why had I fought this for so long? Every day I hadn’t kissed him felt like a day wasted.
