“For the same reason,” Victor said, even as the words “he doth protest too much” drifted through his head.
“It just seems to the guys that you’ve built a damn tall wall around Pip’s pretty nanny. It would make sense if you reacted that way about Viv. She’s your sister, after all. But you’re not related to Belle.”
“You seem to be very well-versed about all this,” Victor said. “I didn’t know you listened to the bullshit locker room chatter so closely.”
Dean chuckled. “A few of us might have held an informal team meeting after this morning’s workout, given your off-the-charts fury. We’re all used to your grumpiness, but damn, man…today…”
Dean didn’t have to go into detail. Victor was perfectly aware of just how livid he’d been. He’d cussed a blue streak from the moment he walked into the gym, and that litany of fucks, shits, son of a bitches, pricks, cunts, and goddamns continued all the way through the shower and him slamming his way out of the locker room to head home.
Victor raked a hand through his hair. He’d done the same thing at least two dozen times in the last hour, so he imagined he resembled a lion king at the moment, his mane standing full and tall.
Dean continued. “Anyway, your friends are worried about you, so I thought I’d take the bull by the horns—literally—and see if there was anything I could do to help.”
“You sure you didn’t just draw the short straw?” Victor asked, aware of how his teammates had decided who was going to handle tough conversations in the past.
Dean laughed loudly. “Tank offered to grab them, but I threw myself on the sword,” he joked.
“Thanks a lot, asshole. I wasn’tthatmuch of a fucking bear.”
“Agree to disagree on that, but seriously, man. I’m worried about you. You haven’t been yourself the last few months or so.”
Victor wanted to argue that point, but he couldn’t because his coach was right. “I can’t have a thing for Belle, Dean,” Victor said, surprising himself with the confession. For the past couple of years, he’d been determined to die on that fucking “Belle is just the nanny” hill, but having her in his house was proving too goddamn much.
“Why not? Would Viv not approve?”
“It’s not because of Viv. Or notjustbecause of Viv.” On the rare occasions when Victor let himself play out how things might go if he gave in to his attraction to Belle, he considered hissister’s reaction. He figured she’d land somewhere in the middle. Happy for them, but also concerned about the fallout if things went south.
“Then what’s the problem?” Dean pressed.
“Belle isn’t just Pip’s nanny. She’s been with Viv and Pip since the beginning. She was there right after Phil died, and she’s never wavered in her devotion to my sister and niece. Viv doesn’t consider Belle an employee because Belle’s so much more than that. She’s Viv’s best friend and, in a lot of ways, she’s Pip’s second mother. There’s no fucking way I would do anything to jeopardize those relationships.”
Dean fell silent for a moment, and Victor appreciated that his friend was truly listening and considering what he was saying.
“I’ve been gone a long time,” he said at last, “so I’m out of the loop on a lot of what happened over the past decade or so. When’s the last time you had a steady girlfriend?”
Victor sighed. “Why does that matter?”
“Humor me,” Dean said.
“It’s been a while. Maybe,” Victor did the math in his head, “seven years. Went out with a woman, Amelia, for two years, but she needed more time and attention than I could give her, considering how many weeks a year I’m on the road with the team. She didn’t like being alone so often.”
Victor didn’t go into the details of his romance with Amelia—or how she’d broken his heart when she left. He’d tucked that hurt away, then buried it deep. He’d gotten damn good at compartmentalizing pain in his life. He’d learned how to after his parents’ deaths because Vivian needed him to be strong. Just as she did when she lost Phil. Amelia’s departure was just one more painful thing he pushed to the background, refusing to acknowledge.
“You haven’t dated anyone insevenyears?”
“I’ve got a few women who are cool with the occasional hookup, but no, no relationships. Been there, done that, burned the T-shirt.”
At least, that was how it had been the first couple of years after Amelia kicked him in the teeth, but his reason for remaining single changed after Phil died. Because that was when he’d dedicated himself to being there for Vivian and Pip, making sure they had everything they needed. His sister had been a mess—rightly so—so he’d put her first. After all, he was all she’d had, and the same was true for him. They’d been a family of two following the deaths of their parents. Then, for a time, they were a family of three—him, Vivian, and Phil, who’d been the greatest brother a guy could ask for.
When Phil died, they’d remained a family of three with the birth of Pip. Though somewhere during Pip’s second or third year, that family number increased by one.
Because Belle had snuck in and made her mark on all of them.
“Let me ask you something, Vic. Are you attracted to Belle?”
Victor closed his eyes, hesitating, the silence dragging on too long. Admitting that out loud was fucking dangerous.
“Vic,” Dean repeated, when he failed to respond.
