There were the baffled looks again. As if they couldn’t even conceive of the idea that she might not want to be with one of them.
Gods help her, shedidwant to be with them, but that was the problem. She wanted them both equally. And there was no way that could work. Temporarily, maybe, but at some point, they’d need to take mates, or they’d go insane after their next transition. Which meant, again, she’d have to choose which one to keep. There was no way in hell she could choose just one.
So, it had to benone.
“I won’t do it,” she said.
Blade nodded solemnly. “Then when Kynan gets back from the conference, I’m going to request a transfer to another unit.”
Mace and Scotty both wheeled around to Blade, and she wondered if she looked as shocked as Mace did. “What?”
Fists clenched at his sides, Blade closed his eyes and took a deep breath. When he opened them again, they swirled with shadows.
“I’ve spent too long pretending I wasn’t in love with you, Scotty,” he said, and his words—and the vulnerability behind them—plucked at her heart and made tears sting her eyes. “I told myself I didn’t care if you dated, but I seriously wanted to kill Jon and Skoll every time they looked at you. The idea of one of them…” He shook his head. “I can’t work like this anymore.”
He started for the stairs, the finality in his words and body language sending a stab of panic through her. She couldn’t lose him. She couldn’t.
“Blade.” She grabbed his arm, but he refused to look at her, keeping his gaze on his destination. “Give us a chance. Please. Our team has been through a lot. We can get through this.”
“Can we?” he asked softly. “Because I’m not so sure anymore.” Gently, he freed himself from her grip and took the stairs two at a time,every footfall sounding like a death knell.
“I can’t believe this.” Blood throbbed through her every pulse point as the fear of losing everything gripped her. “What about you, Mace? Do you want to get transferred?”
Suddenly, he was inches from her face, her hands in his. Heat flared in his eyes, little flecks of gold that seemed to wax and wane to the beat of her heart.
“I want the same thing Blade wants,” he said softly, with a hint of breathlessness. “You. Gods, Scotty, I want you so bad it hurts. And so does Blade. You can make one of us happy.”
The tears in her eyes spilled over, burning hot, miserable paths down her cheeks. “And destroy the other one,” she rasped.
“No.” He leaned in, his heat scorching her as his lips touched her cheek, kissing away one of the tears. “You would set them free.”
Her throat closed as he drew back, his gaze searching her face. For what, she didn’t know. All she knew was that she’d never been in so much misery.
“I want to kiss you,” he said, his voice deep, husky, tortured. “But I won’t take anything from Blade.”
So. Many. Feels.
Overwhelmed by this—byeverything—she wheeled away from Mace with a cry, her eyes burning with unshed tears.
“Scotty—”
“Go!” she cried. “Just go.”
He stood there.
“I said, go!”
“Uh, this is my home…”
At her glare, he grinned, that playful scamp grin he’d perfected to disarm females, and she fell for it. She fucking fell for it when she’d always rolled her eyes at other females when they did the same thing.
Angry with herself, she glared harder.
“Okay, okay, I’ll go.” He jerked his thumb toward the back door. “See you later.”
He took off with a cocky swagger, and he didn’t look back. Just gave her the space she’d demanded. Irrationally.
A wave of dizziness washed over her, and she sank onto the bench. She tried to look around at the yard, where she’d spent countless hours swimming in the pool and playing tennis with Blade and Mace, but she couldn’t see through her tears.
