“Anything for Eva.” Blade helped Logan spread a sheet over the massive oak table in the castle’s dining hall. “Scotty said she and Aleka will be here in a couple of hours with the blood.”
“Are you staying for the ceremony?” Logan asked. “Is Mace coming?”
“I wish.” The three of them rarely missed important events that affected any of them. They were a package deal. Everyone knew that. So, he hated that Scotty had to face whatever happened without him and Mace. “Scotty said they only want immediate family in the vicinity. Something about diluting the powerful connections or whatever.”
She’d explained it, but Blade’s understanding of magical andmystical crap was limited, and he’d zoned out the way he always did when Stryke talked about science stuff. But give Blade a murder scene, a survival scenario, or a fight, and he was in the game to win.
“Ah, yeah.” Logan dragged a dining room chair away from the table. “Dad mentioned that not even Mom will be there. Except for Raika and Idess, they’re keeping the circle limited to Reaver’s blood relatives.”
Blade studied his friend as they moved the heavy chairs aside to create more space. Logan looked like shit. Stress had dulled his eyes and pulled his mouth tight, and he probably hadn’t slept for days. Blade could only imagine how terrified he must be.
“How are you doing?” Blade asked. “How’s Eva?”
“Not good. That’s the answer to both questions.” Leaning heavily on one of the chairbacks, Logan closed his eyes. “I’m scared, man. If this doesn’t work…if I lose Eva…”
“It’ll work,” Blade assured him. “Harvester is too mean to stay dead, and Eva is too awesome to die.”
Which was funny, because he’d been skeptical about Eva at the beginning. Everyone had. Not only did she work for the enemy, but she’d also been part of an Aegis team that murdered two of their friends and led to the death of another, Logan’s best friend, Draven.
“I hope you’re right,” Logan said, his voice thick with emotion. “I can’t lose her, Blade. After everything we went through. After Draven…” He took in a shuddering breath. “She’s the woman of my dreams, and I haven’t had enough time with her.”
Blade understood in a way he wouldn’t have before that night in Alaska. No, that wasn’t true. A few months ago, they’d come close to losing Scotty to a churning ocean full of sea demons. It would have killed him.
And she wasn’t even his.
The idea of losing her—to death or another male—filled him with terror. He’d gone toe to toe with monsters ten times his size, but he couldn’t face losing Scotty.
The reality was like hitting a brick wall, sending him to the verge of hyperventilation. Because someday, hewouldlose her. Not to death, hopefully, but to a male. And even if she never hooked up with a guy, it didn’t matter. In around seventy years, Blade would go through his second maturation stage and turn into a violent, raping monster if he didn’t take a mate before that.
So, yeah, this thing the three of them had was amazing, but it had an expiration date.
And he didn’t take loss well. When his little brother, Chaos, died, he’d fallen apart. Had gone to a dark place for a long time. No one noticed, because everyone had been focused on Stryke, but Blade had suffered, and only Mace had paid any attention. Mace, with his goofy antics and upbeat sense of humor, had brought Blade back from the brink. His work with DART had helped keep him busy, and then Scotty had joined the team. And, just like that, the darkest days of his life had faded away.
No, he couldn’t lose her. He couldn’t lose anyone again.
“Logan?”
“Yeah?”
Blade gazed absently at the portrait over the great fireplace, an ancient painting of Thanatos. It was slightly off-kilter, which meant that someone was messing with Regan’s OCD. Probably Thanatos, but Logan and Amber sometimes got in on the fun. Once, during a sleepover, Logan, Blade, Talon, and Sabre had gone on a spree, moving furniture and knickknacks slightly out of place, misaligning multiple light switches, and generally being dickheads. Stryke had refused to participate and undid everything they’d done while they slept. He’d always been a wet blanket.
“When did you know Eva wasthe one?”
The tension in Logan’s expression melted away, his mouth curving into a secret smile. “After we slept together for the first time. There was just something about her. It felt right, I guess. Like it was meant to be.” He gave Blade a sheepish look. “Yeah, I’m a sap.”
Blade thought about his time with Scotty, how being inside her had felt so, so right. Like she was a part of him, and he of her.
“S’okay,” he said quietly. “I get it.”
Logan cocked an eyebrow. “Yeah? Anything you wanna tell me?”
“Nah.” Blade got back to clearing the space for the ritual. “Just curious.”
Logan gave him a speculative look, but he didn’t press. Good. Because Blade hadn’t sorted shit out in his own head, let alone well enough to talk about it.
But he knew one thing for sure: He’d come to a crossroads. He loved Scotty, and he was afraid to lose her. He was afraid to lose Mace too. And the horrible thing was, losing one or both wasn’t a matter ofif. It was a matter ofwhen.
Mace’s mouth watered at the savory scent of the white chicken chili wafting through the compound. Sabre cooked something for the entire household every Wednesday night, and no one missed dinner. Like his father, Eidolon, he was a great cook.
