He sucked in air and tried to sit up, but he was still trapped in the snow, and it wouldn’t let him go.
A sliver of light opened.Then widened.
Jem thrashed.
“You’re okay.”It was Tean’s voice.“You’re okay, Jem.Slow down.Calm down.”Movement came nearby, and then a hand caught Jem’s arm.For a moment longer, Jem fought against the restraint.Against the snow.Trying to get free.But Tean kept saying, “You’re okay.You’re okay.Calm down.”
And then Jem was awake, and he was in a bed, in a room, with light coming in behind a half-open door.Tean sat on the mattress, one hand still on Jem’s arm.The doc was dressed in a Kolen Lodge sweatshirt and a pair of dark jeans that Jem had never bought him.His hair was more of a mess than ever, and his eyes looked huge behind his glasses.
For one final second, Jem was in both places: trapped in the snow, unable to breathe; and here.
Then he rubbed his eyes.His fingers felt stiff, and there was a throbbing heat in the joints that he didn’t like.Finally he dropped his hands.
“How are you doing?”Tean asked quietly.
Jem threw him an okay sign.
“You might feel some—” Tean stopped.He laced his fingers together.“You might feel some discomfort in your hands and feet.I don’t think you have frostbite but—” He shelled up, and he sat there, trembling.Finally he said, “You need something to drink.”
And he left.
Jem lay there for a few minutes.His body was still remembering all the things it was supposed to do.His feet ached in that same hot, swollen way as his hands.His back was sore like he’d twisted it—I fell over a suitcase, he remembered suddenly.And then more of it came back: finding Stephen in the chalet, and the fight, and running after him through the storm.
The silence from the next room was almost as loud as the wind outside.
Jem sat up and pushed the covers back.He eased himself off the mattress, but aside from a few more twinges, his feet seemed up to the task.He was naked, which he’d kind of known, but there was a robe in the closet.He pulled that on.This wasn’t their room, he was starting to realize.So, whose room was it?
He found Tean in the bathroom.The doc was sitting on the toilet, fists balled up against his eyes, a washcloth forgotten in one hand, his glasses hanging from the other.And he was crying.
When Jem’s foot scuffed the tile, Tean gave a wet cough and scrubbed at his face.“What are you doing?You need to be lying down—”
Jem was starting to feel a little wobbly, so he wedged one hip against the vanity.Then he ran his fingers through Tean’s hair and pulled Tean’s head against his stomach.
Tean held himself stiffly.And then he started to cry harder.
It took a while for the tears to work their way out.When Tean finished, he mopped his face with the washcloth while Jem played with his hair some more.
“I’m sorry,” Tean said thickly.“I don’t know what’s wrong with me.It’s been a lot, I guess.”
“Nothing’s wrong with you.”
Tean seemed to consider that before he finally said, “Everything—everything feels so messed up.Inside me, I mean.”
“It’s not messed up to cry,” Jem said.“It’s messed upnotto cry.”
Tean didn’t say anything for a while.Then he put on his glasses.And he sounded more like Tean—more like the same Tean who had once taken the remote away and said something about bed sores—when he said in a firmer tone, “You need to lie down.”
Once Jem was in bed again, Tean spent time inspecting his hands.He touched Jem’s fingers lightly, as though Jem were made of glass.Jem’s skin was extra sensitive, and although the touches didn’t hurt, not exactly, they weren’t pleasant either.
“I don’t think you’ll have any blisters,” Tean finally said.“But I want to keep a close eye on everything until we can get you to a real doctor.”
“You’re a real doctor.”
“You know what I mean.”
“I’m sorry I scared you,” Jem said.“I knew it was stupid, running after him like that.I mean, I didn’t know it at the beginning.But when I was out there, and I knew I was lost, all I could think was ‘Tean is going to kill me if I get myself killed out here.’”
Tean didn’t smile.“It’s my fault.I can’t believe I told you to go after him.I thought he was going to run for the lodge, or—” The sentence cracked down the middle, and Tean’s hand tightened around Jem’s.Thatdidhurt, a little, but Jem didn’t say anything.After a moment, Tean continued, “Jem, I’m so sorry.I knew how dangerous those conditions were.”He shook his head.“I was so angry—” He took another breath.“I wasn’t thinking.And as a result, I almost got you killed.”
