“Okay,” Tean said, “this was, until recently, a very good conversation.I think we’re done now.”
“For when the emotional pipes get backed up.”
Tean started walking.
“Babe,” Jem called after him, “maybe that should be my next job: advertising!”
21
They made their way past the arcade.Although the games were dark, it actually looked like a pretty dope setup—they had all the ones he remembered from Boondocks, likePac-ManandSnow Crossand, yeah, evenBarber Cut, which wasn’t what it sounded like but was still awesome.
When they got back to the main floor, a quick call to Brigitte at the chalet revealed that Tafton and Nora had gone back to their room.Brigitte gave them Tafton’s room number—which, it turned out, was also a chalet.Paid for, no doubt, by Tafton’s in-laws.No expense spared when it came to helping Tafton lose his taste for dick.Or acquire his taste for lady bits.
“Hey, there’s an idea,” Jem said as he and Tean retrieved coats, hats, and gloves from their room.
Tean was zipping up his coat.
“What if they didn’t try to make them straight?”Jem said.
Tean might have sighed.A little.
“What if they worked on making them bi, instead?”
Tean finished zipping up the coat.And, finally, he looked at Jem.
Jem had seen those eyes before.
Those were the eyes of a man who didn’t believe in the profit potential of franchising a McDonald’s.With a play area, obviously.
“Think about it,” Jem said.
“I don’t want to think about it.”
“You’re never going to make a gay dude stop loving dick.”
This time, Tean definitely sighed.
“That’s, like, in their DNA.”
“That’s actually an interesting question,” Tean said.“Right now, the science seems to suggest that it’s a combination of natureandnurture—”
“Right, right, uh huh, but listen, babe.You’re never going to make a gay dude stop loving dick.”
“Jem, what—”
“In his mouth.Up his ass.One in each hand, working them like he’s squeezing two naughty dolphins.Oh, shit, on his knees, getting Eiffel towered, but he’salsoworking a dick in each hand, and maybe a couple of guys are just rubbing on him, like, you know, shoulders, or wherever they can reach—”
“What is happening right now?”Tean whispered.
“But,” Jem said, and he couldn’t keep the note of triumph out of his voice, “you can always teach somebody tolikesomething.Or, you know, put up with it.Like, Ineverliked those green beans out of a can, but there was this one foster family where we had them every dinner, and we weren’t allowed to leave the table until we finished them.So, you know what I did?Ilearnedto eat them, even though I didn’t like them.”
“No, you didn’t,” Tean said.“You paid that girl to eat them for you.”
“Wait, I already told you that story?”The expression on Tean’s face suggested Jem might be running out of time, so he hurried ahead.“Anyway, that’s not the point.”
“Thatisthe point.That’s the entire point of the story.Which, I have to add, you also lied about.”
“Babe!”
