“Everybody’s got a motive here.And Quinn can tell me being gay isn’t a secret he’s willing to kill for, but I don’t know if I buy that.These people are either so desperate that they’re willing to pay alotof money and give up pretty much all their privacy—orthey’re being forced to be here.Either way, they’ve got a lot to lose if Gerald starts telling everybody their secrets.Ma and Pa might know you’re gay, but do they know that you’re mostly active in the footjobs subreddit and you’re a regular poster in tinypeenworship?”
“Okay, but— Wait, those aren’t real subreddits, are they?”
A grin splashed across Jem’s face.
“No!”It was practically a shout, and Tean put his hands up in case that helped.“Don’t tell me!”
Jem’s grin faded as he said, “And the other reason it doesn’t matter is that everybody’s alibi has been bullshit so far.They all alibi each other, but with a crowd like this, that’s not worth jack.”
“Uh, I’ll take your word for it.”Tean considered the comment for a moment.“I don’t think you’re wrong.”
“Gee, thanks.”
“It’s not only the secrets.I think—” He stopped again.“I think there might be a lot of anger here.Buried anger.Maybe, in fact, so deeply buried that they don’t even know they’re angry.But that doesn’t make it any less real.”The quicksilver flow on Jem’s face—understanding, compassion, pain—made Tean hurry on.“Beckett’s parents making him come here, for example.He can say he’s doing it because he loves them, and it’s only a few weekends a year, and then he goes and does whatever he wants.But when you take a step back, what does that say about the beliefs he’s taken into himself for his whole life?”
“Not to mention the fact that he can’t look at any porn,” Jem said darkly.“That’s just mean.What’s he supposed to do?Spank it to those YouTube videos of guys with big forearms?”
Tean’s eyebrows went up.
“Uh.”Jem held up one finger.Smiled.A littletooinnocently.“That came out wrong.”
“I’m sure it did.”
“I don’t evenknowabout those videos.I heard something about them.At work.”
“Uh huh.”
“Plus I don’t need porn because I’ve got you.”
“Please stop.”Tean adjusted his glasses, not that they needed it, but because sometimes with Jem, that was the only thing he could think of.Finally, he decided the best course was to keep talking.“The same goes for all of them.Quinn won’t tell his parents the truth about himself because he wants so badly to be normal.Tafton is basically a prisoner, living in fear of having Gerald share his secrets with everyone.”
“They all are,” Jem said.“God, can you imagine doing this with a wife?”
“Exactly.It’s like this pressure cooker of guilt and shame and fear and self-hate, confessing your sins and spying on each other and constant surveillance on your devices, but with a veneer of spirituality that’s supposed to make us all agree that this is gentle and loving and—and okay.”The next words burst out of him: “And it issofucked up!”
The shout rang out in the empty hall.
Jem rubbed his shoulder.His hand followed Tean’s arm down until he could squeeze his fingers.
“Maybe I’m not okay,” Tean mumbled, and he took off his glasses to wipe his eyes.
“Babe,” Jem said softly.
Tean shook his head.“I hate it.Ihateit.”But he shook his head again.“Anyway, I think the friendly faces we’ve been seeing, and everyone acting sad that Gerald is gone—I have a hard time believing that’s all they’re feeling.”
“So, it could still be any of them,” Jem said.“But we know more now, and that’s a good thing.We know their alibis aren’t as solid as they’re pretending.And we know why someone might have wanted to kill Gerald.Wedoneed to talk to Tafton, right?Find out what he has to say?Because something about Stephen is definitely off, and if Tafton really did go with him somewhere last night, I want to know where they went and why—especially since, if Beckett’s right, they weren’t playing hide-the-spaghetti.”
Tean nodded slowly.“I agree we should talk to Tafton.Alone, preferably.”He took a deep breath and made himself say the next part.“Jem, I also think we need to talk about—” He almost saidyour mom.“—Brigitte.”
Jem went still.
“I know she’s your mom,” Tean said.“But I think it would be a…mistake not to at least consider the possibility—”
“We talked about this.She didn’t kill him, Tean.”
Tean waited.Let the moment slide past.In an even voice, he said, “I understand why you believe that.But statistically, the spouse is the most likely person.And I think we need to be realistic about the fact that we don’t know anything about their relationship.I’m not saying she did it, Jem.I’m saying I think we need to consider the possibility.”
“Because Idon’tknow her.Not really.That’s what you mean.”
