When the realization came, Tean had to fight a giggle that he thought might be the start of a nervous breakdown.Because what Gerald really meant—what he apparently thought was so obvious that he didn’t even have to say it—wasmarry a woman.And that gesture, the one he’d made, was his indication that Tean would eventually be removed by some heavenly waiter, like an inconvenient hors d’oeuvres.
To judge by Jem’s blank expression, the realization still hadn’t landed for him.
“Children,” Brigitte said.“Why don’t you go play in the arcade?Buy yourself a grilled cheese.”
Milo was out of his chair so fast, Tean was surprised it didn’t turn over.Maeve followed more slowly, casting backward glances.
“There’s a lovely arcade,” Brigitte chirped.“They have so much fun.Much better than all this stuffiness.”
“See, that’s the problem,” Gerald said as though Brigitte hadn’t spoken.“That’s why you always need money.”
“I don’t need money—” Jem said.
“I told your mother, you’re not doing him any favors.I told you that, didn’t I?”He turned to Brigitte but didn’t wait for an answer.“That’s the problem with charity.It doesn’t fix the underlying problem.And the underlying problem is that you’re a bum.This is why a man should always be in charge of the finances.”
Jem gave a dead grin.Tean wanted to close his eyes.
“No more blank checks,” Gerald said.“If you need money, I’ve got some chores around the house.You can earn it.”
“Excuse me,” Tean said, “but you have no idea what you’re talking about.”
“We’re having a conversation here,” Gerald said.He drew a circle around himself, Brigitte, and Jem.“The family—”
The room began to shrink around Tean again.His chest tightened.The rush of white noise in his ears turned all the way up.But somehow, his voice sounded level, almost calm, as he said, “It’s obvious that Brigitte hasn’t told you anything about Jem’s life—” Jem’s fingers bit into his knee again, but Tean kept going.“—or about what he’s been through, how hard he’s worked—”
“Tean,” Jem said.
“—and how amazing he is as a person—”
“You don’t need to—”
“—and how everything he has, he’s had to earn on his own—”
“Tean, enough!”Jem’s volume was only slightly lower when he added, “Just stop talking.”
Tean tried to swallow, but he couldn’t.His leg didn’t hurt until Jem eased stiff fingers away and drew his hand back.
“Look,” Jem said.“I get it.It’s not easy having somebody’s child dropped into your life.I’m sorry the money—” He stopped and shook his head.“But I’m not looking for handouts.I don’t want anything from you.I’m here because—” His gaze shifted to Brigitte.“—you asked me to be here.That’s it.That’s all.So, we can enjoy a nice meal and get to know each other, if that’s what you want.Or if this is too much, then no harm, no foul.Tean and I will go, and we can try again another time.”
“No, Jeremiah, that’s not what—”
“Son,” Gerald said, and Tean recognized the tone because he’d had to hear it for twenty years, give or take.The patience.The indulgence.The saccharine confidence.“We’re a family.Of course we want to help you.We’re going to help you with more than money.”
For a moment, the nervous energy of Brigitte’s face collapsed, and it was like looking into a dark place, a dropping away into nothing.
Jem laughed.Scratched an eyebrow.“Uh, okay.How’s that?”
“Help you put away these deviant urges,” Gerald said.He was smiling now—a real smile.“Help you be a real man.”
5
The moment seemed to go on forever, Gerald’s words hanging in the air.
And then Jem couldn’t help it.A short laugh burst out of him.He glanced over at Tean, but Tean wasn’t laughing.Brigitte wasn’t laughing.Gerald for sure wasn’t laughing.
“I’m sorry,” Jem said as the laugh dried up.“What?”
“You struggle with same-sex attraction,” Gerald said.“It’s okay.You don’t have to be embarrassed.Brigitte told me all about it.God tests each of us according to our measure.There’s nothing to be ashamed about.”
