Tean’s hand, the one still on Jem’s chest, moved in a small circle now.
“She doesn’t want me,” Jem said.“I knew that.She wasn’t happy when I showed up.She had this perfect life, and I was going to ruin it.And it was…not easy seeing Maeve and Milo.”The kids in question had finally stopped their game of Parkour Junior, and now Maeve was trying to teach Milo what Jem guessed was a TikTok dance.He caught himself smiling as he watched them.“They call her Brigitte.They ran away from home because they were bored.They think she’s a bad mom.I mean, maybe she is.She’s definitely not going to win any awards.I look at them, and all I can think is that it could happen to them.And I can’t breathe sometimes when I think about that.”He shook his head.“But you know what?It’s not going to happen to them.Because she had Stephen—or whatever his real name is—and she didn’t leave him.”
“Jem,” Milo shouted, “watch this!”
“Okay, I’m watching.”
“You can watch me,” Maeve told Tean.
For some reason, that cracked open Jem’s smile a little wider.
“Are you watching?”Maeve demanded.
“We’re ready,” Tean said.“Go ahead.”
The kids did their dance, and as soon as it was over, Maeve raced Milo into the theater.
“I know this won’t help,” Tean said.
“Oh God,” Jem said, “it’s going to be bleak, isn’t it?”
“What you’re describing isn’t…unheard of.Some animals use a strategy called brood reduction; one offspring is nurtured, and the others are allowed to die.It’s often an issue of limited resources and efficiency, although not always.Among humans, there’s what’s called scapegoating.Parents choose a child to victimize.They treat their other children normally—sometimes, they treat them as favorites.And it’s not clear why.”
“I don’t know,” Jem said.“I guess I’m never going to know, because she won’t talk about it.Maybe I don’t want her to talk about it.”He thought he had stopped, but the words slipped out anyway.“I just wish it didn’t hurt.”
“I don’t know if it’ll ever stop hurting.Not entirely, anyway.But itwillget better.”
“And you’ll get better too.”
“That’s the plan.”
Maybe, another day, he would have waited.But he was still feeling his way through the fog, and it was like stumbling over the words, finding them purely by chance, right as they were coming out of his mouth.“It’s scary.How you’ve been acting.”
Tean’s hand stopped moving on Jem’s chest.The muscles in his back tightened; Jem could feel it where he still held Tean in an embrace.“I’m sorry.”
“I didn’t say that right.”
“No, that’s fair.”
“I meant—” Jem blew out a breath.“I know it’s not fair to expect you to always be, like, the same.Of course you’re allowed to have good days and bad days.And I know you’re going through a lot, and I know it won’t be forever.My brain knows that.But some days, I don’t know what you’re going to be like when I come home.And that’s—” He tried to smile; it slipped off his face as soon as it got there.“That’s some scary shit for me.”
Tean was still rigid inside the curve of Jem’s arm, but he nodded.“You dealt with a lot of uncertainty growing up.I’ve been acting unpredictably.I understand.”
“I’m not blaming you, Tean.I’m just telling you because— Fuck, I don’t know.”This time, he laughed, and the smile stuck.“This is a lot of honesty.You know this is why people lie, right?”
“I want you to be honest with me.”He fell quiet.“I’m going to work on my coping skills.I don’t ever want to put you in that position where you don’t feel safe.”
“We can work on it together.You can tell me what to do when you’re upset.I’m good at learning new things.”
“I know you are.That’s a good idea.”
“Scipio can help.”
Tean’s dark eyes were so sad, but somehow, he laughed quietly.“He would hate to be left out.”
From inside the theater came Maeve and Milo’s giggles.
“Thank you for what you wrote,” Jem whispered.
