Brigitte blinked, and tears fell down her cheeks.“He’s not my son.”
But there was no force behind the words, and she turned away.
Jem steepled his hands over his mouth and nose.He took more of those ragged breaths.And then he bent at the waist, hands on his knees, and went silent.
That earlier sense of distance and displacement began to collapse.The world rushed back toward Tean, coming to meet him.He could see Jem, really see him.He blurted, “Jem, it’s okay.”
“Oh my God,” Jem said.The words were compressed, and they sounded like they came from high in his chest.“Oh my fucking God.”
“We’ll figure it out.”
“We’ll figure it out?”Somehow, Jem straightened.He took a step.“How in the fuck—” He took another step.He bumped into the coffee table, and it slid an inch, and Jem hobbled forward without slowing.His hip caught one of the armchairs.He waved a hand, almost like he was apologizing.He always knows where he’s going, Tean thought.He can always see everything.Jem took one more shuffling step, and then he was free of the cluster of furniture.Without looking back, he lurched toward the door.“I can’t do this.”
Brigitte stared at Tean.She was pale.She was crying again.She’d bitten her lip and marred her lipstick.
“Get out,” she whispered.
Tean went out into the light and hurried after Jem.
32
Nothing Tean said or did could slow Jem.He made his way back to the lodge, across the lobby, and down the hall to their room.He fumbled in his pockets for the key, swearing under his breath, until finally he dug out the thin piece of plastic and slapped it against the lock.Jem tried the door, but the lock hadn’t disengaged.He slapped the key against the reader again.When he tried again, the door still wouldn’t open.He yanked on the handle, yanked, yanked, yanked, growling, “Open up you fucking piece of shit.”He pressed the key against the reader and slid it around.A light flashed green.The door opened.
He didn’t hold the door, and Tean had to catch it on his shoulder.
“Jem,” Tean said.
Jem didn’t say anything.He shucked his coat and threw it on a stool in the kitchenette.He dropped onto the sofa and sprang back to his feet.He turned on the fireplace and went into the kitchenette and opened the little fridge.Yellow light and plastic-coated wire shelves.He shut it.
“I’m sorry,” Tean said.“I didn’t figure it out until we were already talking to her.”
Jem shook his head.
“I know this is upsetting,” Tean said.“I know this—it’s hard to process.”
Jem turned around.He put his hands on the breakfast bar and leaned across it.“You know how it feels, huh?”
“No, that’s not what I meant.”
“What did you mean?”
“I don’t know.I meant that I’m sorry.And you must have a lot of feelings—”
Jem made a disgusted sound and started to pace again.He was limping.He still held one shoulder at that wrenched angle.
Tean hadn’t realized until then that his back was pressed against the door.He watched Jem.The blond man kept rubbing his eyes, scratching his beard, cupping his hands over his mouth and breathing thinly.
“It’s okay,” Tean whispered.“It’s going to be okay—”
“It’s not going to be okay!”Jem’s voice was wild.“You don’t even know what that means, so quit fucking saying that!”
Silence.The sound of flames licking ceramic logs.Sunlight on snow making the outside world so bright that Tean wanted to close his eyes.
“I want to respect that you need time and space to deal with this,” Tean said quietly.“But this is an emergency.They’re going to have the roads open soon—maybe later today, maybe tomorrow.And as soon as people can leave, she’s going to go.Stephen will disappear.If there’s any evidence, they’ll make it vanish—if they haven’t already.”
Jem was dry-washing his face.He dropped his hands and said, as though he’d only half-heard Tean, “What are you talking about?”
“I’m talking about telling Vaughan what we know.He can—I don’t know.Do a citizen’s arrest.Keep her somewhere secure for the time being.He can tell the sheriff ahead of time that we need to lock down the lodge until we find Stephen.”
